Key the Steampunk Vampire Girl and the Tower Tomb of Time (9781941240076) Read Online Free PDF Page B

beavers has always been the tricky part. Most are called “Barely Bludgeoned Beavers.” And if the beavers are really, really lucky, they are bludgeoned first, and then stuffed before being tied down to a Wicked Watchmen’s helmet.

    Miss Broomble led Key and Tudwal out to the middle of the wall. The railing was just tall enough for Key to peer over, but seemed a little too tall for Wicked Watchmen. She imagined that one would have to stand on tiptoes or boxes or shoulders, just to rain arrows, boiling oil, and snarky insults down upon attacking enemies.
    As Miss Broomble, Key, and Tudwal were heading towards a turret with a Doorackle Alleyway inside, a particularly short Wicked Watchman met them halfway.
    “Hullo, ma'am,” he greeted the witch in a voice that seemed a little too husky for one so short. “I am required to advise you that a rather testy Cyclops is buffeting the castle at present.”
    The Barely Bludgeoned Beaver on his helmet had been stuffed first, then bludgeoned, so it was still very much alive, and very much furious at being tied down as a faceguard. It was hissing and spitting at Miss Broomble and Key, but the Wicked Watchman paid it no mind. Tudwal barked and growled back in reply to the beaver, and the two got into a very nasty tiff. All the while, the Wicked Watchman carried on speaking as if nothing was out of the ordinary.
    Looking from Miss Broomble’s armor to Key’s nightgown, he remarked, “Judging by your attire, I can assess that one of you is quite prepared for battle while the other is clearly not. A nightgown spotted in jack-o’-lanterns will not do at all, young lady. While it might be perfectly acceptable battle-attire while warring with those two nasty Grimbuggle Bedbugs, Bosh and Mr. Humbug, it most certainly is not acceptable for battling Cyclopses. I must therefore turn you back, or turn you to ash.”
    Hearing this, Key’s white vampire cheeks blushed with embarrassment and she started to fidget nervously, picking at her nightgown and shuffling her bare feet.
    “Watchman —” Miss Broomble began to say.
    But the Wicked Watchman held up his finger as he questioned himself: “Is it Cyclopses or Cyclops? Which is the plural? Cyclopsesees? Oh never mind. It’s not as though we have more than one one-eyed giant to deal with tonight. Jolly good!”
    Returning his attention to Key and Miss Broomble, he continued, “I should advise you to remain indoors until we have this situation fully under control, Cyclopsesees or not.”
    Miss Broomble had by this time lost her patience entirely. “Tell me where I can find your commanding officer,” she ordered.
    The Wicked Watchman turned and pointed towards the turret at the far end of the wall. “Why, Sergeant Snut is just down —” he had started to say when Tudwal and his Barely Bludgeoned Beaver got into such a nasty argument that the immortal puppy leaped onto his helmet.
    “Stop that right this instant, you naughty, naughty boy!” shouted Pega.
    But as usual Tudwal paid her no mind. He and the Barely Bludgeoned Beaver fought with one another so violently on the Wicked Watchman’s head that they yanked him over the railing, and all three went tumbling off the castle wall.
    “Tudwal!” shrieked Key as she peered over the edge.
    Her worry eased a little when she saw that Tudwal, the Barely Bludgeoned Beaver, and the Wicked Watchman had fallen into the open claws of a stone gargoyle perched on an outcropping along the wall. Tudwal and the beaver continued fighting fiercely while the Watchman tried to arrest them.
    “Look here,” he protested. “I’ll have none of that. I didn’t graduate at the bottom of my class at Cobweb Academy to have you two boss me around —”
    Miss Broomble took Key by the hand. “They’ll be all right. We must hurry.”
    Key looked up into the air and said to Pega, “Please, go with him. Make sure he’s all right.”
    “Of course, Mistress,” Pega said. “Right away.”
    Hearing the