Kat: Breaking Pointe Read Online Free PDF Page B

‘It’s part of the costume.’
    I wrinkle my nose.
    â€˜Ooh,’ says Tara, perking up. ‘Makeover?’
    â€˜For best results exfoliate first and dry well.’ He studies me. ‘I recommend two coats darker than your natural tan. A wholesome glow that’s nicely slimming. Not that you aren’t slim already,’ he rushes to add.
    â€˜Yeah. Thanks, Ben.’ Lucky my self-esteem issues are about the inside, not the outside. Still, Tara looks so buzzed about a female bonding tanning experience, I can’t disappoint her.
    I take the bottle. And then look pointedly at the door.
    â€˜I could help with the application,’ he suggests.
    â€˜A selfless offer, but no.’
    Ben backs out of the room reluctantly.
    â€˜Did he say slimming?’ Tara asks.
    I spray myself quickly, wearing the bikini I left at Tara’s place last time we went to the beach. Tara stands in front of the mirror, staring glumly at her bum.
    â€˜The problem is, I’m only a C plus.’
    â€˜Any topic but school, thank you,’ I say.
    â€˜I mean physically. Christian’s an A or A plus but I’m only a C. Probably a C minus on a bad skin day.’
    I hand Tara the bottle and Tara begins spraying herself from point blank range.
    â€˜It says hold the bottle five centimetres from the skin …’
    But Tara pays no attention to me. ‘Do you think Christian knows he could do better than me? Because I’m not pretty enough for him?’
    â€˜I think you need to spray that thing further away.’
    She stops for a minute. ‘I would give anything to look like you. Or Grace. There is so much wrong with me.’
    An annoyed tone creeps into my voice. ‘Yeah, like you don’t have a great boyfriend, you’ve got no idea what you want to do with your life, and you’re completely untalented. You mean those kind of things?’ From where I sit, Tara doesn’t have much to worry about, except the things she’s creating in her own head.
    But she’s too lost in her obsessive thoughts to pay attention to me. She closes her eyes and sprays her face.
    I confiscate the spray. ‘Look T, this morning you were in love – like publicly – and by the looks of it, happy. Has it occurred to you maybe you don’t always need something to work on?’
    â€˜There’s always something that needs working on,’ Tara tells me firmly.
    Â 
    I lie awake that night, thinking about what Ethan said. Was cheerleading another distraction? Why had I auditioned? Why was I going back? I was no cheerleader. It was obvious to Ethan, it was obvious to me, it would be obvious to Jordana, too.
    Ben meets me outside Tara’s room, looking suspiciously like he’d been waiting there for some time. ‘So,’ he claps his hands together. ‘Ready for the callback? Cause I sure am.’
    â€˜We’re not going.’
    â€˜I could be your good luck token. Look how lucky I’ve been so far.’
    â€˜ We’re not going because I’m not going. Who am I kidding? Tan or no tan, I’m no cheerleader.’
    â€˜Do you think they’ll let you keep the uniform?’ Ben asks, hopefully.
    I roll my eyes. ‘I’m taking it back.’
    Ben sags, disappointed.
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    I can’t bring myself to go back to the stadium to return it in person, so I decide to leave it at Anne Black’s office. I figure I can drop it and run.
    But she springs me.
    â€˜I didn’t think you’d be here on a Saturday. I thought you could return it to the squad.’
    Anne checks her watch. ‘You’ve got a callback in twenty-eight minutes. And I don’t courier while wearing Prada.’
    â€˜I don’t care about rugby.’
    â€˜You think all those girls care about rugby?’
    Well, if they didn’t they were better at faking it than me, I think. Which goes to show that I didn’t belong. I try to explain.