Karlology Read Online Free PDF

t h e asteroi d t h eor y , severe ice a g e, conta g ious d isease, a g iant volcano, and they recently found a dinosaur that had evidence of parasites living inside it, which may have finished it o ff . It’s t h in g s l i k e p arasites t h at ma k e me h o p e reincarnation d oesn’t h a pp en. I wou ld n’t min d comin g b ac k as a d o g o r a bud g ie, but a p arasite? What a g rim existence that is. I w atched a programme about tapeworms. Horrible things, t h ey are. T h ey spen d more time l iving insi d e somet h in g el se’s b o dy t h an t h e y s p en d in t h e outsi d e wor ld , an d t h en t h eir l ast f ew moments o f l i f e are s p ent comin g out o f som e o ne ’ s arse. It ’ s not great is it?
    When I was younger we had a cat. Well, we had a lot of cats as we l ive d on a main roa d an d g ot t h rou gh t h em quic kl y, b ut one o f t h em jumpe d on t h e ta bl e an d I notice d somet h in g h an g in g f rom its b ac k si d e. I to ld me d a d an d he had a look and said it looked like a tapeworm. Me mam put some rub b er cleaning gloves on and grabbed it. It stretc h e d to a b out two f oot. T h e cat d i d n’t l oo k h a ppy . It was u s in g its claws to clin g to the crack i n the table as me mam pulled the thing
out. It eventually left the cat. Turned out it wasn’t a
tapeworm but an elastic band that the cat must have eaten.

     
    However t h e d inosaurs were wi p e d out, t h e c h ances are it will happen again and wipe us out. I’m sure we can slow down the ageing process of the Earth a little, by using less e ner gy an d a ll t h at, b ut t h e wor ld is sti ll g ettin g o ld an d we can’t sto p t h at. No matter h ow muc h anti-a g ein g cream a w oman p uts on her face, or how much p lastic sur g er y she has, she can’t escape getting old and looking grim. I think t h is is w h y nature ma k es sure we l ose our sig h t as we get old er – it’s so we d on’t l eave our o ld p artners an d tr y an d g et somet h in g newer. I t h in k t h e reason d ivorce num b ers are up is cos of the invention of glasses and contact lenses .



It is taken as fact that man wasn’t around at the same time as the dinosaurs, but I don’t think it’s impossible. I know there isn’t evidence as they haven’t found any skeletons or fossils, but with the amount of building work that goes on everywhere, I think it’s only a matter of time before they find something that proves we were around together. It could just be hard to find because the dinosaurs ate most of the humans and left no trace, or cos man’s skeletons are smaller than that of a Diplodocus . It’s like when you play computer battleships – it’s always easier to hit the aircraft carrier than it is to find the torpedo boat. Maybe we were around but there just wasn’t that many of us, a bit like pug dogs – they’ve been around for years but I only saw one for the first time about nine years ago. I don’t think it would have been impossible to live with dinosaurs either. They say the most dangerous things on the planet now are mosquitoes as they can carry loads of killer diseases and bite you when you’re asleep without you realising it. Mosquitoes wouldn’t be that much of a problem to us if we hadn’t left the sea.





Tate Modern
    IF AN ALIEN LANDED and asked me what art was, I would find it hard to explain. I would probably say, “Art is just stuff to fill a space that would otherwise be empty”. That’s what we do here on planet Earth, we fill space. People buy a home which is perfectly big enough when they first move in, but then, over time, they collect so much stuff they have to get something bigger. Whatever space you have, it’s never enough. Me mam and dad moved a few years ago to a house that had an old caravan in the garden. They said they’d get shut of it once they were settled in, but nine years on, the thing is still there and is now full of stuff. I don’t know where all of the stuff