Interview With a Jewish Vampire Read Online Free PDF Page B

look, and we were ushered to a quiet table in the back. Considering how noisy and jammed the place was, I was stunned. The Carnegie was famous for its nasty waiters and here we were being treated like royalty.
    “ OK, Sheldon, how did you do it? I know you’re not a movie star.”
    “ I glamoured him. We’re not supposed to do that unless it’s an emergency, but I couldn’t resist impressing you.”
    “ And exactly what does glamouring involve?”
    “ It’s a vampire thing. I can’t really explain it. I just have to concentrate, stare into someone’s eyes, and they do my bidding—within reason of course. He’ll forget what happened afterwards. Right about now he’s wondering who we are and how we wound up at this desirable table.” Sheldon grinned mischievously. “Impressed you, didn’t I?”
    “ Impressed doesn’t quite cover it. Awed is more like it. Now, if you materialize a pastrami sandwich in the midst of this mob I’ll really be impressed.”
    He snapped his fingers loudly but the waiters ignored him. I supposed glamouring only works up close. By the time the waiter brought our order it was getting dangerously close to show time. The pastrami sandwich was enormous. The Carnegie was famous for half-a-foot-high sandwiches.
    I couldn’t open my mouth wide enough to actually bite into it, so I removed about three-quarters of the meat and started eating. It tasted kind of dry. The pastrami I remembered was juicy and succulent. I looked at the slices and didn’t see the big slabs of white marbling I remembered.
    “ They took out all the fat.” I frowned. “I guess it’s supposed to be low calorie. It’s also low taste. Are you enjoying the smell at least?”
    “ I can’t smell it,” Sheldon admitted. “I don’t breathe enough to smell.”
    “ But that’s why you wanted to come here.”
    “ Well, I thought you might like it and I didn’t want to make you feel guilty about eating. And now the pastrami isn’t even good, so let’s go to the show.”
    I didn’t care. I wasn’t all that hungry anyway. Sheldon left a twenty on the table and we elbowed our way out into the cold. “Let’s take a cab,” I suggested. “It’s getting close to show time.”
    “ Have you noticed the traffic, Rhoda? Let’s walk. We’ll get there faster, I promise.”
    He put his arm around me and I found as we walked that I was actually gliding. He was skimming over the ground, with me in tow.
    “ Hey, this is a great way to get to the theatre on time.”
    It wasn’t very far, only ten blocks to the Minskoff Theatre at Forty-Fifth Street, but we got there in two minutes flat.
    We settled into the best seats in the house, third row orchestra on the aisle. “How did you get these on such short notice, Shel? More glamouring?”
    “ No, this time it was a ticket scalper. Hasidic guy. I gave him a good deal on some diamonds recently.”
    I leaned towards him and gave him a smooch on the check. “This is so incredibly sweet of you. I never sit this close—who can afford it? I love musicals. I saw Fiddler in the movies but I’ve always wanted to see the show.”
    “ I’ve never seen it. I actually haven’t been to a Broadway theatre, and I never go to movies. No pun intended, but I’ve been dying to see this show. I never had anyone to go with. My Hasidic vampire buddies aren’t exactly into Broadway musicals.”
    “ You wouldn’t go alone?” I asked.
    “ Nah. That’s no fun. When I first came to New York, it was the heyday of the Yiddish theatre and Herschel and I went a lot. Herschel’s my brother. But he never liked American culture, plus he doesn’t want to be that close to humans anymore. He tries to only drink blood from animals too, but he’s easily tempted. I’m stronger than him. I made him after all. But that’s a long story for another time.”
    I didn’t have time to ask questions. The lights in the theatre dimmed, the orchestra started playing and I sat back in my seat, feeling