Independent Jenny Read Online Free PDF Page A

back to watching every penny I spent, living on spaghetti hoops and worrying about my bills. It was a depressing thought and I said as much to Hayley.
    “You can’t take any of that into consideration when deciding whether to take him back or not.”
    “I know.”
    “You’d survive, you’d get by. You have to choose whether to stay with him or not based on how you feel, not the practical stuff like the finances.”
    She was right, but it all seemed too much to think about. Cheating aside, I’d been happy before. Giving up Ross wouldn’t be easy. Nor would losing our home. None of it was easy and I couldn’t seem to think about it properly; my brain wouldn’t function. So I just kept getting through the days by concentrating on anything but my marriage.
    On Friday evening Shane came round with Andrew, a pizza and a handful of DVDs. Somehow, I’d made it through a week without Ross, and although I desperately missed him in some ways, in others it was nice to not have him around. No dirty socks on the floor. No PlayStation games. No hurt every time I looked at him.
    He called me Friday night and I finally answered after a little urging from Shane. Ross asked when I might like to see him; when could he come back? He said something about ‘working it out and talking it through’. I told him not yet and hung up, then stared at the phone for a while, feeling guilty for being so abrupt. I shook my head to clear those thoughts; he was the one who should be feeling guilty.
    “You know, he’s been a good husband up until now. You could consider working this out,” Andrew said. Shane nodded encouragingly.
    I told them about the socks and Playstation games.
    “Andrew leaves coffee stains all over the worktop,” Shane told me.
    “And Shane is obsessed with Annie, always giving her treats, even though I tell him she’ll get fat.”
    “Your point is?” I asked them.
    “That no one is perfect,” Shane pointed out the obvious. “You didn’t care about the dirty socks before. The bottom line is … can you ever forgive him?”
    “I don’t know!” I wailed, getting up. “Now let’s change the subject and drink more wine.”
    I saw him roll his eyes at Andrew as I left the room but decided to let it drop. He was trying to help, after all. And maybe he had a point. Maybe.

Chapter Seven
     
    Saturday came along with the wedding I’d been dreading all week. I managed to hold it together and pretend I was my usual happy self without asking the bride if she knew there was a large chance he’d end up letting her down. That one day she might find herself totally lost, wondering how things could change so drastically from this day to that.
    Sunday, I drove to Milton Keynes to visit my sister Sadie. On the way there, I contemplated seeing white dresses and gimmicky cakes, flowers and hired suits every weekend, and wasn’t sure I could do it. But I didn’t know what else I’d do, if not that. Somewhere around a mile from my sister’s, I told myself to stop worrying about it, at least for the time being.
    Of all my siblings, I was really only close to Sadie. The others were a lot younger than me, and still in their teens. Whenever I visited either of my parents, my siblings only made a brief appearance, and if I was lucky, they might even look away from their phones or tablets long enough to grunt me a greeting.
    Sadie was a primary school teacher who lived in a pristine apartment with never a speck of dust or item out of place, not far from our family home. I’d been so keen to move away from Milton Keynes when I was young, and I loved living in Bath, but this time going home felt kind of comforting. There was nothing here to remind me of Ross. I was a long way from that hotel and a long way from my problems.
    “Hi!” Sadie called as I got out of the car outside her house. She smiled then frowned. “Where’s Ross?”
    “I don’t know, actually,” I told her, giving her a hug.
    “Oh dear. I better put the kettle