Incendiary Read Online Free PDF

upstairs.
    —Don’t ever try that again you bastards, he shouted. Or I’m calling the police.
    —They won’t do nothing, my husband shouted back. The police love Dexys Midnight Runners and I should bleeding know. I’m a copper myself.
    The neighbours went quiet after that and they didn’t turn their music back on.
    —Ah peace at last, said my husband. Thank fuck for diplomacy.
    Then I remembered something. I put my hand up to my mouth.
    —Oh god. We forgot all about the boy. All that racket. He must of been terrified.
    We went to his room we opened the door we thought he’d be howling but he wasn’t. He was just lying there fast asleep. He’d kipped through the whole thing hugging Mr. Rabbit I swear the ordinary rules of sleep did not apply to that boy.
    We went next door and lay down on the bed. It was lovely and quiet now. My husband went to sleep straight away. I lay awake for a little while just feeling so happy. My husband was going to leave the force. No more waiting up for him watching
Holby City
. No more worrying my boy was going to lose his dad. It was so wonderful I couldn’t believe it was true. I shook my husband awake again.
    —Oh Christ what is it love? he said.
    —Did you really mean it? What you said about leaving the force?
    —Of course I meant it, he said. You ever known me not to do what I said?
    —No. When are you going to do it?
    He looked at me and sighed.
    —First thing Monday morning, he said. Now will you let me sleep?
    I smiled. I started to fall asleep myself. You can see I had my downs but I was often so happy in those days. I’ve gone through a lot of changes since then Osama but if you looked very carefully and the light was right I expect you could still see the memory of that happy time in me. Hidden but not quite invisible like the POLICE letters down the side of our old Astra.
    *                  *                  *
    They say you visited London when you were young Osama. I suppose you saw the nice bits did you? Did you see the Houses of Parliament? Did you walk down Knightsbridge on a sunny Saturday afternoon? Did you shop at Harvey Nick’s? Did they politely ask you to leave your Kalashnikov at the cloakroom?
    And I expect you watched the homeless in the squats and the subways? Did you see the crack girls on the game? Were you amazed how cheap the girls sell themselves in London? They’ll let you do them for the price of a Happy Meal for their kids most of them. Does it worry you like it worries me?
    So if you saw both Londons Osama then tell me this. Which London is it that Allah especially hates? I’m asking because I don’t see how a tourist could hate both Londons. The SNEERING TOFFS London and the EVIL CRACK MUMS London I mean. Sorry Osama for calling you a tourist I don’t mean to cause offence I’m just saying I don’t see how you can hate the whole of London unless you actually live here on less than 500 quid a week.
    One thing you start to hate when you live in London is the way rich people live right next to you. They’ll suddenly plonk themselves right next door and the next thing you know your old street is An Upcoming Bohemian Melting Pot With Excellent Transport Links which means there are posh motors boxing in your Vauxhall Astra every morning. My husband always noticed the motors.
    It was the morning after he promised to quit the force and he spotted a really nice one. We were outside in the street in front of the estate. It was May 1 and the sky was blue and it was nice and warm just like you want it to be on May Day. My husband was carrying the boy on his shoulders and both of them were grinning like idiots. They were wearing their Arsenal shirts because it was Saturday and it was the big day. Arsenal were at home to Chelsea. The upstairs neighbours were out too and they were wearing their Chelsea shirts. We were walking to our Astra and the neighbours were walking behind us. They were giving it the old mouth