The bell at the top jangled,
then her ears were filled with voices, holiday music, the swishing
and ticking of the model train, and all of the other sounds that
came with a busy store at Christmas. But as loudly as they echoed
inside her head, they couldn’t push away his voice. It was
louder still.
“… You don’t want to make me
kill your parents, right? Promise you won’t tell…”
Immediately following the wall of noise came
a blast of warm air rushing outward into her face. It was
comfortable and stuffy at the same time. Chasing away the chill of
winter, but also stale and thick in a way that made it hard to
breathe. Like the sounds, it too was filled with way too many
things—
The sweet smells of candies, and the buttery
aroma of popcorn…
The spiciness of candles and perfumes…
Of fruitcake…
The chemically sharpness of flocking…
Of plastic trees…
And even the smell of the people
shopping…
Floating in between like some kind of
invisible glue holding the odors together, was a weird, pretend
Christmas tree scent. The kind that came in a spray can and made
everything smell like the pine sawdust the janitor always used
whenever someone puked on the floor at school.
School…
The janitor’s closet…
The piney stink was just another reminder
that Merrie really didn’t need right now. Her stomach felt like it
flip-flopped and her mouth started to water. She paused, holding
the door open as the fear began chewing its way through her insides
all over again.
However, Becca wasn’t going to wait.
Still set on her single-minded mission, the
five-year-old stomped forward toward the threshold. When she could
go no farther because of Merrie’s grip on her hand, she stopped
chanting her joyful tune and began tugging hard on her sister’s
arm. “C’mon, Mare-reee… C’mon…”
Merrie gave in and plodded slowly through the
doorway and into the store, even though the panic in her chest made
her want to turn around and run away as fast and as far as she
could. Even worse, the feeling was getting stronger with each step,
and before they had even made their way past the checkout stand she
found herself once again trying to reason out a deal with her
younger sibling in order to escape the horror of facing anyone in a
red suit, even if it really was just Mister Babbs behind the beard,
just like he always was at Christmas.
“Becca…” she asked as the five-year-old
pressed forward with her in tow. “Wouldn’t it be more fun to just
look at the train some more?”
“No!” her sister yipped.
“But you didn’t see everything. I can show
you…”
“No!”
“I’ll let you have my dessert after dinner
tonight.”
“No! Santa!”
“But you already saw Santa,” Merrie objected.
“When Mommy and Daddy took us shopping at the big department store
last weekend. Remember?”
“Santa! Santa!” Becca demanded, pulling
harder as her older sister came to a full stop and began to
resist.
Merrie started to object again and even
considered pulling big sister rank on her. “But,
Becca, I’m…”
Before she could finish, a cheerful voice
interrupted. “Did I hear someone say they’re looking for
Santa?”
“Santa! Santa!” Becca chirruped, dancing in
place as the excitement percolated from her tiny body.
Miss Ruth, the store manager, smiled down at
them, then turned up her wrist and pushed back her sleeve so that
she could check her watch. “Hmm,” she said. “Well, I believe Santa
is taking a break right now so that he can feed the reindeer up on
the roof.”
A wave of intense relief washed over Merrie
as the words registered. She couldn’t have asked for a better
excuse to get out of this whole mess.
Becca’s eyes widened and she yelped,
“Rainn-deeeer! Can I pet Rudolph? Can I?”
“No, honey, I’m afraid it’s too slippery up
on the roof for little girls,” Miss Ruth explained, apology clear
in her voice. Then she asked, “You’re Elizabeth