I Surrender Read Online Free PDF

puff of smoke in my peripheral vision. I jump up in alarm, totally paranoid I have been followed by a deranged stalker. However, the street lights illuminate a familiar face and it’s not one of a madman, it’s Jasper. He quickly steps out from under the tree, concern in his eyes when he notices my reaction. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”
    I peek up from under my lashes and attempt a half smile. He is just as handsome as before. Did he follow me here? Secretly my insides are fist pumping in excitement, but my heart barely registers a response. Am I that dead inside? After this one breakup? Has Harper broken me forever?
    “Are you okay?” he asks softly. If only I could answer that question and feel I was being truthful to myself.
    “Not really, but I’ll live. What doesn’t break you makes you stronger and all that.” Why did I just say that? I hate all those cheesy clichés.
    Jasper only nods, puffing on his cigarette and I feel ridiculous sitting whilst he towers over me.
    “You’re most welcome to sit. My moodiness isn’t contagious.” I earn a chuckle from him as he butts out his cigarette and takes a seat. He leaves a gap between us and I turn to face him tucking a leg under my knee. Under these lights, his eyes blow my mind. They are not only the deepest blue I have ever seen, there are so big giving him an innocent, doe eye appearance. We just sit and look intently at one another, not in a creepy or awkward way like earlier. There is something about him, something deeper to him.
    He clears his throat. “So, V said you lived in Singapore. How did you like that?”
    I shrug; even the word Singapore hurts my heart.
    “It was okay, after I learnt the basics in Mandarin and stopped asking people if I could use their toilet when I thought I was asking where to find the nearest train station, it was fine. The food was great which was right up my alley as before I left, I was in the middle of getting my degree in Culinary Art. The people are lovely, so respectful of one another. It was a nice change from living in LA, where you don’t know who to trust.” Trust, even that word makes me want to puke.
    Jasper chuckles and the sound drives my flesh into a frenzy. “Yeah I know what you mean. What did you do for a job over there?”
    “I worked as a file clerk, correction it was office bitch.” I smile sincerely for the first time.
    I am so pleased at myself for stringing a sentence together as its nice talking to Jasper. He’s a really good listener and being in his presence is strangely soothing. I notice he has a scar above his right eyebrow, like one would after having a piercing there. His top lip is perfectly bow shaped and his bottom lip is deliciously full. Looking at his mouth, the only thing that mars that perfection is a small scar running along the corner of his bottom lip. Staring at it, I realize that makes him all the more attractive. I marvel at the smoothness of it and stop myself from behaving like a madwoman from reaching out and touching it.
    “So what about you?” I ask surprised at my ability to voice a coherent remark after mentally undressing Jasper.
    He shrugs, looking straight ahead deep in thought. After a while he turns to look at me, his head tilted slightly. He looks baffled, like he is attempting to figure out an ambiguous puzzle. And I have a feeling that puzzle is me, which makes no sense. I met this man like five seconds ago; it wouldn’t make sense if there was some weird chemistry happening between us. Right?
    Snapping me out of my daze he says, “I was born and bred in Chicago; I have an older brother who is thirty one. I don’t see much of him, he lives in Texas. My mom is still in Chicago, she’s remarried. My dad died last year in a house fire. Music is my life and so…” before he can finish his sentence a loud wailing can be heard from across the street.
    “JASPER! Are you out here? JASPER!” We both look at the culprit assaulting our eardrums and I