I Am Rembrandt's Daughter Read Online Free PDF Page A

as the floorboards, as if a thousand Jannetje Zilvers have shouted at him and he cannot take it anymore .
    But the shorter dark man stands up straight. He is dressed in a king’s gold clothes and like a king, holds his head high and has his hand on his hip. What I like best are his eyes, gray and shiny like the inside of an oyster, but brighter, like a candle burns from within him. When he turns them to me, they are so kind I burst into tears .
    Moeder trudges up the stairs behind me. “Neeltje, when did you come—Why, you are crying! Come here, my pretty puss.” She gathers me to her and takes me down to the kitchen .
    She is giving me a dipper of water when Vader comes in. “I need some ale for the gentlemen,” he says. He sees me. “What’s the matter with her?”
    “Can you not see? Your ‘gentlemen’ have scared her.”
    “Scared her? She is six, too old to be scared by such things.” He leans toward me, bringing his gray bristly eyebrows close. “Cornelia, are you scared?”
    I cry louder. I cannot stop. I wouldn’t have used Jannetje’s handkerchief if I had known it was hers .
    “Why must you paint such terrible men?” Moeder says. “The Trip brothers have decided to let you paint the portraits of their parents and you put them off to paint these, these—”
    “—these men I must paint!”
    She takes a short, angry breath. “But Rembrandt, you were so glad when the Trip brothers finally came to you. It was your chance to show up van der Helst and the lot. Why must you be so willful when we need the money?”
    “I am not being willful, Hendrickje. I know this will sound strange—it does even to me—but I think God is speaking through my hands. Did you see the light I have captured in the little man’s eyes?” He looks at his paint-speckled hands in wonder. “I don’t know how I did that.”
    I had seen the light in the man’s eyes in Vader’s painting. Tears come down as I hold out the empty water dipper .
    Moeder takes it, then puts her arm around me. “You are upsetting everyone,” she tells Vader .
    He looks at Moeder. “Are you sorry you chose me? Or do you wish you had chosen the man who owns men rather than paints them?”
    “What has that to do with anything? And besides, Nicolaes owns the ships that carry them, not the men.”
    “What is the difference, Hendrickje? Whether he owns them or ships them, he’s still got a hand in their misery, and no amount of money is going to wash that hand clean.”
    She presses me to her bodice. It smells of dried sweat. “Just give your people their ale.”
    After Vader is gone, I start to tell her about Jannetje .
    “Is that what you are crying about? A handkerchief?” She puts her hand to my cheek. “It is snowing out. Go play.” She gives me two pats .
    But when I go outside, the sun is shining on the bare trees along the banks of the black canal. The snow is gone. I am too late .
    A man comes over the bridge. When he tips his hat at me, I see his mustache in the shade of his brim. It is as gold as the coins Moeder keeps hidden in a leather pouch in the back of her cupboard .
    He taps his finger to his lip. “Shhhh.”
    “Shhhh,” I say back, tapping my mouth .
    It is our game .
    I’ve seen this man before. He is tall and has curly gold hair down to his shoulders and gold hairs over his mouth .
    He smiles, then goes on his way without another sound, as he always does. He is just a nice neighbor man. I want to ask Moeder who he is, but she is never outside when he passes .
    I crouch at the edge of the canal and throw in a stone .

Chapter 5
    Vader roars from his studio, “TITUS!”
    I turn the page of my book and stir the cabbage, Tijger rubbing against my stool, as the wind rattles the rose vine outside the kitchen window. It is the third of March, three days since the wedding, and the old man cannot get it in his head that Titus is gone.
    “TITUS! COME QUICKLY!”
    Why should I tend to a stubborn old man who cared so little