How It Is

How It Is Read Online Free PDF

Book: How It Is Read Online Free PDF
Author: Samuel Beckett
my feasts it says Lent everlasting
     then of a sudden Hallowmas no summer that year if it is the same not much real spring
     my sack thanks to my sack that I keep dying in a dying age
    my tins all sorts dwindling but not so fast as appetite different shapes no preference
     but the fingers know no sooner fastened at random
    dwindling in what strange wise but what is strange here undiminished for years then of a sudden half as many
    these words of those for whom and under whom and all about the earth turns and all
     turns these words here again days nights years seasons that family
    the fingers deceived the mouth resigned to an olive and given a cherry but no preference
     no searching not even for a language meet for me meet for here no more searching
    the sack when it’s empty my sack a possession this word faintly hissing brief void
     and finally apposition anomaly anomaly a sack here my sack when it’s empty bah I’ve
     lashings of time centuries of time
    centuries I can see me quite tiny the same as now more or less only tinier quite tiny
     no more objects no more food and I live the air sustains me the mud I live on
    the sack again other connexions I take it in my arms talk to it put my head in it
     rub my cheek on it lay my lips on it turn my back on it turn to it again clasp it
     to me again say to it thou thou
    say say part one no sound the syllables move my lips and all around all the lower
     that helps me understand
    that’s the speech I’ve been given part one before Pim question do I use it freely
     it’s not said or I don’t hear it’s one or the other all I hear is that a witness I’d
     need a witness
    he lives bent over me that’s the life he has been given all my visible surface bathing
     in the light of his lamps when I go he follows me bent in two
    his aid sits a little aloof he announces brief movements of the lower face the aid
     enters it in his ledger
    my hand won’t come words won’t come no word not even soundless I’m in need of a word
     of my hand dire need I can’t they won’t that too
    deterioration of the sense of humour fewer tears too that too they are failing too
     and there another image yet another a boy sitting on a bed in the dark or a small
     old man I can’t see with his head be it young or be it old his head in his hands I appropriate that heart
    question am I happy in the present still such ancient things a little happy on and
     off part one before Pim brief void and barely audible no no I would feel it and brief
     apostil barely audible not made not really for happiness unhappiness peace of mind
    rats no no rats this time I’ve sickened them what else at this period part one before
     Pim vast stretch of time
    the hand dips clawing for the take instead of the familiar slime an arse on his belly
     he too before that what else that’s enough I’m going
    not the shit not the vomit something else I’m going the sack tied to my neck I’m ready
     first thing free play for the leg which leg brief void and barely audible the right
     it’s preferable
    I turn on my side which side the left it’s preferable throw the right hand forward
     bend the right knee these joints are working the fingers sink the toes sink in the
     slime these are my holds too strong slime is too strong holds is too strong I say
     it as I hear it
    push pull the leg straightens the arm bends all these joints are working the head
     arrives alongside the hand flat on the face and rest
    the other side left leg left arm push pull the head and upper trunk rise clear reducing
     friction correspondingly fall back I crawl in an amble ten yards fifteen yards halt
    sleep duration of sleep I wake how much nearer the last
    a fancy I am given a fancy the panting stops and a breath-clock breath of life head
     in the bag oxygen for half an hour wake when you choke repeat five times six times
     that’s enough now I know I’m rested my strength restored the day can begin these scraps
     barely audible of a fantasy
    always
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