How It Is

How It Is Read Online Free PDF Page A

Book: How It Is Read Online Free PDF
Author: Samuel Beckett
within my reach and dreaming too it’s in the dream too of a little man within
     hers I have that in my life this time sometimes part one as I journey
    or failing kindred meat a llama emergency dream an alpaca llama the history I knew
     my God the natural
    she would not come to me I would go to her huddle in her fleece but they add no a
     beast here no the soul is de rigueur the mind too a minimum of each otherwise too
     great an honour
    I turn to the hand that is free draw it to my face it’s a resource when all fails
     images dreams sleep food for thought something wrong there
    when the great needs fail the need to move on the need to shit and vomit and the other
     great needs all my great categories of being
    then to my hand that is free rather than some other part I say it as I hear it brief
     movements of the lower face with murmur to the mud
    it comes close to my eyes I don’t see it I close my eyes something is lacking whereas normally closed or open my eyes
    if that is not enough I flutter it my hand we’re talking of my hand ten seconds fifteen
     seconds close my eyes a curtain falls
    if that is not enough I lay it on my face it covers it entirely but I don’t like to
     touch myself they haven’t left me that this time
    I call it it doesn’t come I can’t live without it I call it with all my strength it’s
     not strong enough I grow mortal again
    my memory obviously the panting stops and question of my memory obviously that too
     all-important too most important this voice is truly changeable of which so little
     left in me bits and scraps barely audible when the panting stops so little so faint
     not the millionth part I say it as I hear it murmur it to the mud every word always
    what about it my memory we’re talking of my memory not much that it’s getting better
     that it’s getting worse that things are coming back to me nothing is coming back to
     me but to conclude from that
    to conclude from that that no one will ever come again and shine his light on me and
     nothing ever again of other days other nights no
    next another image yet another so soon again the third perhaps they’ll soon cease
     it’s me all of me and my mother’s face I see it from below it’s like nothing I ever
     saw
    we are on a veranda smothered in verbena the scented sun dapples the red tiles yes
     I assure you
    the huge head hatted with birds and flowers is bowed down over my curls the eyes burn
     with severe love I offer her mine pale upcast to the sky whence cometh our help and
     which I know perhaps even then with time shall pass away
    in a word bolt upright on a cushion on my knees whelmed in a nightshirt I pray according
     to her instructions
    that’s not all she closes her eyes and drones a snatch of the so-called Apostles’
     Creed I steal a look at her lips
    she stops her eyes burn down on me again I cast up mine in haste and repeat awry
    the air thrills with the hum of insects
    that’s all it goes out like a lamp blown out
    the space of a moment the passing moment that’s all my past little rat at my heels
     the rest false
    false that old time part one how it was before Pim vast stretch of time when I drag
     myself and drag myself astonished to be able the cord sawing my neck the sack jolting
     at my side one hand flung forward towards the wall the ditch that never come something
     wrong there
    and Pim part two what I did to him what he said to me
    false like that dead head the hand alive still the little table tossing in the clouds
     the woman jumping to her feet and rushing out into the wind
    no matter I don’t say any more I quote on is it me is it me I’m not like that any
     more they have taken that away from me this time all I say is how last how last
    part one before Pim before the discovery of Pim have done with that leaving only part
     two with Pim how it was then leaving only part three after Pim how it was then how
     it is vast tracts of time
    my sack sole variable my days my nights my seasons and
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