House Infernal by Edward Lee Read Online Free PDF Page A

that
anywhere. Shit, I've got no reason to even believe you ever
even lived in Wammsport."
    Johnson looked offended. "The boarding house on
Fifth, man. Room three, a bill and a quarter a week. I paid
three months in advance, by the way-ask my landlord,
Mr. Cotton. Told him I'd be traveling. Oh, and I used to
drink at Abny's all the time, too."
    "All right, so you know the name of a bar. Who'd you
work for?"
    "I was a day-hire for any boat that needed help. Ask anybody on the town dock if they heard of me. Old redneck
named Desmond hired me most 'cos he had the biggest
boat. Peekytoes and Jonahs run best in the spring."

    "What the hell's that?"
    "Crabs, man. Sweeter than blue. Shit, the guys who
owned the crabbing boats all wanted me 'cos whoever I
went out with got the most crabs." The white teeth shimmered. "See, I know the secret."
    "What's that?"
    "The bait, man, the bait. I never tell no one this but, shit,
since my goose is cooked now, I'll tell you. You use cat
food for Jonahs and salmon scraps for Peekytoes. You do
that" Johnson pointed-"and you'll fill every trap you
drop."
    "I drove all the way up here for you to tell me about
crabs?" Berns tried to sound disgusted. So far, though,
the story was level. "Five seconds before I walk out."
    "I'm trying to confess to the nun thing, Captain. It's no
jive."
    "Right, those two nuns-"
    "Only one was a nun, I think."
    Still. He could've heard that somewhere. Berns spoke like
an irate father scolding his child. "Don't insult me by trying to confess to the nun thing. We already caught the
three guys, and they all confessed."
    Johnson sat back down and winked. The big smile
never left his face, to the extent that Berns was amazed.
How can this loser be so happy when he knows he'll be getting
life with no parole?
    "Shame on you, Captain. You are a card, you know
that?" Then Johnson laughed. "It wasn't three guys, it
was just two: me and another dude, a boat hand. And one
chick."
    Another wink.
    "The state shrink says you're Gansering, Freddie. That
means you're lying through your face to snatch a lower
sentence."
    Johnson shook his head in disbelief. "You need to eat
more fish, Captain, 'cos fish, they say, is brain food. I don't
want no lower sentence-I want a higher one. I want capital murder in a state that'll execute me."

    "I'm leaving, Freddie. You're full of shit."
    "What? Are you crazy?"
    "No, Freddie, but that's what you want the jury to
think-because only a crazy guy would want to be executed for a crime he didn't commit."
    Berns started for the door.
    "I don't believe this shit, man. I killed those two galsstripped 'em naked and cut their throats! I'm handing
myself to you on a silver platter, man!"
    Berns turned back around. "Then tell me why you
buried that little girl two nights ago." He tried to surprise him.
    Johnson calmed down, cocked his head. "I didn't bury
her. I tried to bury her." He edged a shoulder toward Lee.
"Until John Law here and his town clown supercops
rained on my parade."
    Berns lit a cigarette right beneath the NO SMOKING sign.
"Who would do something like that? What kind of man
would rape a ten-year-old girl and then try to bury her
alive?"
    Johnson's smile switched to a sneer. He jumped up and
banged the bars so hard both Berns and Lee flinched,
hands instinctively hovering over their holsters.
    Just now, the happy-go-lucky crabber looked scary. "I
ain't no kiddie-diddler, pig. I ain't a sicko, and I didn't do
nothing sexual to that girl."
    "I'm supposed to believe you took her clothes off but
didn't molest her?"
    "She had to be naked, man-it was part of the thing,
see?" Johnson banged his fist against the bars. It had to
have hurt yet he betrayed no sign of pain. "Fuck you, man.
I'll just hang myself in Warren. Why should I give you
credit for a double-murder when you treat me like this?
Bet you ain't been doing nothing your whole career except
writing traffic tickets for tourists and scarfing