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thing off!”
    Adam and I didn’t get along but I couldn’t pay the bills without having some support.
     So what did I do? I posted an ad on Craigslist that I was looking for a roommate.
     You would not believe the response I got. But after swindling some background checks,
     Adam was the only one without a criminal background and crystal meth addiction.
    Unfortunately for me, we could hear everything that occurred in each other’s rooms
     too. I knew every moan his girlfriend made and what that particular moan meant. Sometimes
     when Anna and I were bored, we recorded just the noises through the wall and posted
     it on YouTube with captions that read: Guess the position?
    We had quite the following under our user name of: Poon Tang Roomies .
    They, as in Adam and Katie, have no idea we do this by the way.
    Eventually I decided to get my lazy hung over ass out of bed, spend an hour in the
     shower and then another hour getting ready. I found the keg still had some beer in
     it so I made use of it. After all, I must have expended a lot of energy getting it
     up the goddamn stairs last night. I saw no reason why I couldn’t enjoy a drink before
     work, or two, just to relax those first day jitters.
    When I finally made my way to the kitchen, Anna had sent me a text that had me spewing
     my morning cup of java all over Katie.
    Her text read: I swear to God, if I wake up with another no name penis in my vagina I’m pressing
     charges against the makers of tequila. This shit is getting out of hand! At least
     this guy is good looking. ☺
    Anna wasn’t a slut but give her a bottle of tequila and her clothes melted off.
    I wasn’t any better but it usually occurred with Fireball instead. I’ve never been
     much of a tequila girl. Whiskey is my wish. Fireball, however, could destroy lives.
     I mean that. I’m sure somewhere, probably in Vegas, Fireball has single handily resulted
     in a divorce or two.
    Thankfully, I gave that shit up months ago when I took home a guy from the bar and
     wanted to chew my own fucking arm off in order to get away from him. We, as in my
     vagina and me, collectively decided to never make that slutty mistake again. I had
     a long discussion with her about who we allowed inside. We had to have some sort of
     “code of conduct” for entrance.
    When I left my apartment, I thought about what this day meant. Aside from responsibility,
     I actually felt good that I was doing something.
    Today was my first day at a real job.
    Charlie Gomez, a friend from school, got me a job at the company he builds engines
     for. Having an uncle who used to race NASCAR, I knew a little about the sport and
     what company I was interviewing with. And after an extensive interview from who I
     thought I’d never come face-to-face with, Mr. Jameson Riley, million time (okay, not
     really) NASCAR Cup series Champion, and current World of Outlaws champion, I got the
     job.
    To say Jameson Riley was intimidating for a girl is a complete fucking understatement.
     The man is intense. And his wife, my God, could one person be any more adorable?
    I’ve only seen pictures but I had a feeling I was going to love her. I wouldn’t mind
     just cuddling with her on the couch while she braided my hair and we watched re-runs
     of Friends.
    The drive there wasn’t long. I lived in Cornelius, North Carolina, about eight miles
     from the shop. As I passed by trees starting to come alive from the cold harsh winter,
     I thought about what it meant to have a job now. Not only had I not held one but I
     also wasn’t sure working for an engine company would be the best. Although having
     an uncle that raced NASCAR, I knew enough about engines that I wouldn’t be completely
     lost.
    My first day there held so many possibilities as to what my future at CST Engines
     might include.
    Working for a company that manufactured race engines were sold to people who made
     way too much fucking money and had death wishes with speed was very