Holding On (Memories) Read Online Free PDF Page B

shuts the door.
    “Carl is an ass!”
    “And this is my problem because?”
    I shriek, throwing my arms in the air. “Because you are his best friend! And male! And I do not understand your ignorant, arrogant, hormone-aggravating ways!”
    “That still doesn't explain why it's my problem, Jen. Tea?”
    “No. I do not want a cup of fucking tea, Alec. I want to go back to Devon and wring Carl's neck!”
    “I can feel the love.”
    “I'm going to shove your sarcastic comments up your ass in a minute, boy,” I threaten, anger pulsing through my body.
    “I'd love to see you try.”
    I scream, throw myself face down on his sofa, and scream again, this time into a cushion. I kick my legs like a toddler would, growling. Everything… Everything is going wrong.
    London has been my dream since I was a kid and first realised I could draw – and really draw. I’d spend endless time in the garden drawing flowers, sketching birds and butterflies to fill in later. Then, when I was older, I’d take a pad and pencil to the beach. I’d do the scenery, the shells, and sea life. Anything I could find, I’d draw it. It was a way to let out every emotion I had. It made me an easy teen for my parents, who’ve always understood and supported my dream. I wouldn’t be in London right now if it wasn’t for my Dad.
    But Carl doesn’t get it. He doesn’t understand why I need to be in London, why I can’t just go to Exeter or even Plymouth University. He doesn’t understand that his surfing is his hobby. Art is my life, a part of me. Every pencil, every brush, every pastel, they’re all an extension of my body.
    I cry out a garbled curse of the male species. I let out one last growl, and roll over onto my side, hugging the pillow.
    “Have you got all your toys back in your pram yet?” Alec asks me.
    I turn my face towards him, tears burning my eyes.
    “Hey,” he says in a softer voice. “Don't cry. What happened?” He crouches down next to me, brushing some hair from my face gently.
    “He's said there's no way he'll come to London to see me. If I want to see him, I either have to come down to Devon or wait until half term.” I sniff, and pull my knees to my chest.
    “He will be working full time, Jen. A weekend trip to London won't be easy for him to do,” he reasons.
    “I'll be at uni five days a week, Alec.” My light blue eyes find his. “I won't be able to go down either, and I'll have next to no money after I've paid bills and stuff. I know Dad is covering most of my rent, but I still have things like council tax, water, electric, gas, food... Plus everything I need for my course, all my art supplies. They're not cheap.” They’re more expensive than a hooker in the Red Light District.
    “Your student loans and that will help with that, won't they?”
    I nod. “But it won't be there forever, and I'm gonna need what money I have. I'll only have a small amount left for me at the end of each week, and I don't wanna spend all that on tickets to spend twelve hours of the weekend travelling.”
    He touches my arm. “Six weeks isn't really that long.”
    “He won't come up. At all. We'll see each other maybe six times a year, and even when I'm back, he'll still be working.” A tear drips from my eye, and I know I’m about to break. Everything I’ve held inside for the last few days is about to explode from me and there’s nothing I can do to stop it. “I'm missing my family, I'm three hundred miles from my home in my first place, I have no idea how to use my washing machine, and my milk has gone rotten, and I...”
    I cover my face with my hands as the tears begin to flow freely. Behind my cocky exterior, I’m just a normal person. And right now, that normal person misses their family, their boyfriend, and has no idea how to cope by themselves. I’m that normal person in this second.
    I have no idea how to cope in this city.

ALEC

    I've never seen her this way. Sarcastic Jen, cocky Jen, bitchy Jen... All