Here Comes Civilization: The Complete Science Fiction of William Tenn Volume II Read Online Free PDF Page B

buyer for it. You, you're in a jam. The one in a pickle is the one who's got to tickle."
    The louse! For every one of my moves, he knew the countermove.
    He checked out and I followed him into the street. Down Broadway we went, people staring at a respectable guy like me walking with such a Bowery-type character.
    I threw up my hands and offered him the thirty-two hundred and thirty he'd paid me. He said he couldn't make a living out of shoving the same amount of money back and forth all day.
    "Thirty-four, then? I mean, you know, thirty-four fifty?"
    He didn't say anything. He just kept walking.
    "You want it all?" I said. "Okay, take it all, thirty-seven hundred—every last cent. You win."
    Still no answer. I was getting worried. I had to get him to name a figure, any figure at all, or I'd be dead.
    I ran in front of him. "Eksar, let's stop hustling each other. If you didn't want to sell, you wouldn't be talking to me in the first place. You name a figure. Whatever it is, I'll pay it."
    That got a reaction. "You mean it? You won't try to chisel?"
    "How can I chisel? I'm over a barrel."
    "Okay. It's a long, long trip back to where my client is. Why should I knock myself out when I can help somebody who's in trouble? Let's see—we need a figure that's fair for you and fair for me and fair all around. That would be—oh, say, sixteen thousand."
    So there it was. I was booked for a thorough bath. Eksar saw my face and began laughing. He laughed himself into a coughing fit.
    Choke, you bastard, I thought, choke! I hope the air of this planet poisons you. I hope you get gangrene of the lungs.
    That sixteen thousand figure—it was exactly twice what I had in the bank. He knew my bank account cold, up to the last statement.
    He knew my thoughts cold, too. "You're going to do business with a guy," he said, between coughs, "you check into him a little."
    "Tell me more," I said sarcastically.
    "All right. You got seven thousand, eight hundred and change. Two hundred more in accounts receivable. The rest you'll borrow."
    "That's all I need to do—go into hock on this deal!"
    "You can borrow a little," he coaxed. "A guy like you, in your position, with your contacts, you can borrow a little. I'll settle for twelve thousand. I'll be a good guy. Twelve thousand?"
    "Baloney, Eksar. You know me so well, you know I can't borrow."
    He looked away at the pigeon-green statue of Father Duffy in front of the Palace Theater. "The trouble is," he said in a mournful voice, "that I wouldn't feel right going back to my client and leaving you in such a jam. I'm just not built that way." He threw back his twitching shoulders—you knew, he was about to take a beating for a friend, and he was proud of himself. "Okay, then. I'll take only the eight thousand you have and we'll call it square."
    "Are you through, you mother's little helper you, you Florence Goddamn Nightingale? Then let me set you straight. You're not getting any eight thousand out of me. A profit, yes, a little skin I know I have to give up. But not every cent I own, not in a million years, not for you, not for Earth, not for anybody!"
    I'd been yelling, and a cop walking by came in close for a look. I thought of calling out "Help! Police! Aliens invading us!" but I knew it was all up to me. I calmed down and waited until he went away, puzzled. But the Broadway we were all standing on—what would it look like in ten years if I didn't talk Eksar out of that receipt?
    "Eksar, your client takes over Earth waving my receipt—I'll be hung high. But I've got only one life, and my life is buying and selling. I can't buy and sell without capital. Take my capital away, and it makes no difference to me who owns Earth and who doesn't."
    "Who the hell do you think you're kidding?" he said.
    "I'm not kidding anybody. Honest, it's the truth. Take my capital away, and it makes no difference if I'm alive or if I'm dead."
    That last bit of hustle seemed to have reached him. Listen, there were