Here Comes Civilization: The Complete Science Fiction of William Tenn Volume II Read Online Free PDF

right, Morris Burlap! I stared into his fish eyes, practically pushing into my face. I wouldn't budge an inch if he killed me. "You're an agent for someone," I repeated slowly. "Who? What do they want Earth for?"
    "That's their business. I'm an agent. I just buy for them."
    "You work on a commission?"
    "I'm not in business for my health."
    You sure as hell aren't in it for your health, I thought. That cough, those tics and twitches —Then I realized what they meant. This wasn't the kind of air he was used to. Like if I go up to Canada, right away I'm down with diarrhea. It's the water or something.
    The dirt on his face was a kind of suntan oil! A protection against our sunlight. Blinds pulled down, face smeared over—and dirt all over his clothes so they'd fit in with his face.
    Eksar was no bum. He was anything but. I was the bum. Think, Bernie, I said to myself. Think and hustle and operate like you never did before in your whole life. This guy took you, and big!
    "How much you work on—ten percent?" No answer: he leaned his chest against mine, and he breathed and he twitched, he breathed and he twitched. "I'll top any deal you have, Eksar. You know what I'll give you? Fifteen percent! I'm the kind of a guy, I hate to see someone running back and forth for a lousy ten percent."
    "What about ethics?" he said hoarsely. "I got a client."
    "Look who's bringing up ethics! A guy goes out to buy the whole damn Earth for twenty-seven hundred! You call that ethics?"
    Now he got sore. He set down the grip and punched his fist into his hand. "No, I call that business. A deal. I offer, you take. You go away happy, you feel you made out. All of a sudden, here you are back, crying you didn't mean it, you sold too much for the price. Too bad! I got ethics: I don't screw my client for a crybaby."
    "I'm not a crybaby. I'm just a poor shmuck trying to scratch out a living. But who are you? You're a big-time operator from another world with all kinds of gimmicks going for you, buttons you can press, angles I can't even begin to figure."
    "You had these angles, these gimmicks, you wouldn't use them?"
    "Certain things I wouldn't use, certain things I wouldn't do. Don't laugh, Eksar, I mean it. I wouldn't hustle a guy in an iron lung no matter how much of a buck was in it. And I wouldn't hustle a poor shmuck with a hole-in-the-wall office and leave him looking like he's sold out his entire planet."
    "Sold out isn't the word for it," he said. "That receipt you signed will stand up anywhere. We got the legal machinery to make it stand up, and we got other machinery, too, planet-size machinery. Once my client takes possession, the human race is finished, it's kaput , gone with the wind, forget about it. And you're Mr. Patsy."
    It was hot in that hotel room doorway, and I was sweating like crazy. But I was feeling better. First that ethics pitch, now this routine of trying to scare the hell out of me. Maybe his deal with his client wasn't so good, maybe something else, but one thing I knew—Eksar wanted to do business with me. I grinned at him.
    He got it. He changed color a little under all that dirt. "What's your offer, anyway?" he asked, coughing. "Name a figure."
    "Well, I'll admit you're entitled to a profit. That's only fair. Let's say thirty-one hundred and five. The twenty-seven you paid, plus a full fifteen percent. Do we have a deal?"
    "Hell no!" he screamed. "On all three deals, you got a total of thirty-two hundred and thirty dollars out of me—and you're offering thirty-one hundred five to buy it back? You're going down, buddy, you're going down instead of up! Get out of my way—I'm wasting time."
    He turned a little and pushed me out of the way. I banged across the corridor. He was strong ! I ran after him to the elevator—that receipt was still in his pocket.
    "How much do you want, Eksar?" I asked him as we were going down. Get him to name a price, then I can bargain from it, I figured.
    A shrug. "I got a planet, and I got a