Heaven Should Fall Read Online Free PDF Page A

with her?”
    “About a year. She was friends with somebody Stan was dating, so they introduced us.”
    “White chick?”
    I snickered. “Of course. As soon as I started seeing her I deleted all my booty-call numbers from my phone, changed around my work hours to spend more time with her, you name it. It was crazy. I was eat-sleep-and-breathing her.”
    “You felt the same way about Piper.”
    I crushed out the smoke against the earth. “Not even close. Anyway, Piper’s long gone. And I was in high school then. That doesn’t count.”
    Elias gave a scornful laugh, exhaling hard, clouding the air between us. “Man, don’t ever say it didn’t count. Don’t fucking insinuate it wasn’t worth your while. I’m not sure which one of us would get a bullet in the head over that one.”
    “All right, all right. Sorry.”
    The silence pulled tight. Elias said, “I’m just messing with you.”
    “I know,” I said. But it sounded unconvincing. “Hey, want to get a beer?”
    Elias laughed again. “Man, I don’t want to get a beer. I want to get hammered. ”
    “All right, then.” I held out my fist, and Elias bumped it. “This one’s on me.”
    * * *
    The next morning I drove Elias to the bus depot. I felt hungover as all hell. Elias, though, had put back twice as many and still looked okay. He had changed back into a tight brown T-shirt and fatigue pants that tucked into his boots. With him slouched in the seat, one foot resting on the opposite knee, it was more obvious than ever: dude was ripped. In my mind my brother was still the fat kid, the one everyone teased about his jelly-belly gut and man boobs, but now I felt out of shape next to him. He must have done nothing in the desert except lift weights.
    When we pulled into the drop-off lane, Elias didn’t get out right away. He just tapped a finger against the window frame and stared at the low concrete building.
    “Tell Mom and Dad I said hi,” I said to him. When he didn’t respond, I added, “And take it easy, all right?”
    He grunted. After another few beats of silence, he said, “Bus isn’t here yet.”
    “It doesn’t leave for twenty minutes. People say they usually run pretty tight. I’m sure it’ll get here in time. If it doesn’t, give me a buzz and I’ll come get you.”
    He took his cigarettes out of his pocket and lit one. Then he set the lighter on top of his pack and passed them over to me. I held up a hand to decline, but my willpower misfired. I shook one out of the box and lit up.
    “Back to reality,” said Elias.
    “You don’t sound too pleased.”
    He exhaled lackadaisically. “I don’t even know what reality looks like anymore.”
    I turned just slightly in the driver’s seat, twisting around so I could see him better. Elias’s voice seemed to have gotten much deeper, maybe as a side effect of smoking like a chimney. His soft-edged New Hampshire accent was gone, replaced with sharp r’ s and a flat intonation. If I didn’t look directly at him, it was hard to reconcile the voice with my brother.
    “You could always reenlist,” I said.
    Elias snorted a laugh. “No way. My body’s too jacked up for it. I probably couldn’t even pass the physical.”
    “Are you kidding? I’ve never seen you in better shape.”
    He shook his head, scornful. “My leg never really healed right. I get migraines. My shoulder’s fucked up. You name it. I’m done playing in the Sandbox.”
    “So what are you gonna do instead?”
    Silence fell again. He held his cigarette out the window and gave the filter a few soft flicks with his thumb. He paused, dragged and finally said, “Man, don’t ask me that question.”
    “Sorry. I’m just making small talk.”
    “Yeah, I don’t know how to make small talk. It’s not what we do in my line of work.”
    “ Sorry. Jeez.”
    Elias exhaled with a frustrated sigh. The vibe between us felt tense. I smoked nervously, glad to have something to do in the dead space. In the distance a silver