Heal The Abuse - Recover Your Life Read Online Free PDF Page B

good when we sell our personal
belongings or borrow money from friends or relatives to get our
next fix. Most of us don’t start out that way, but as our
addictions progress, we eventually find ourselves doing many of the
things we said we never would. Addictions grow increasingly
destructive the longer we continue to drink and use.
    The signs of self-destruction are everywhere
in an addict’s life. Our performance at work is suffering. Our
relationships are falling apart. Our health is deteriorating. We
become trapped in a destructive, downward spiral.
    When an addict says that drinking or using
“makes me feel good,” what they’re really saying is that feeling
nothing at all is better than the pain they usually feel. It’s time
to put to rest the illusion that our addictions can help us heal
our pain. Addictions cannot and do not heal emotional pain. In
fact, they actually prolong it.
    I often tell my clients that feelings want to
be felt. While it may seem strange to personify our feelings, it’s
true. When we deny our feelings or try to suppress them, they only
build up inside of us. Our emotional burdens grow heavier the
longer we continue to act out our self-destructive behavior.
    Eventually, we may experience a nervous
breakdown. Raw, nervous energy explodes from within. We cry,
scream, act hysterical, and lose touch with reality.
    There is a way out, and the solution is
simple. Feel your feelings. When you feel angry, release your anger
in a healthy way. Martial arts, exercise, or talking with someone
about the way you feel are all healthy ways to express anger.
    When you feel sad, allow yourself to cry or
grieve the loss you have experienced.
    Of course, there is a reason we suppressed
these painful feelings in the first place. Painful emotions can
seem overwhelming. We may need to set a limit on how much we allow
ourselves to experience at any given time. We may need to tell
ourselves, “Today, I am going to allow myself to cry for 30
minutes. After that, I will put my feelings aside for a while and
do something else, like running or gardening.” We may need to spend
time with friends or go to an AA/NA meeting. Try to find supportive
people in your life that you can rely on during the difficult
times.
    Allowing ourselves to feel our pain can seem
frightening at first, but eventually, that pain passes through us
and out of us. Emotions are not a bottomless pit. Many people have
committed to a recovery program, allowed themselves to experience
their painful emotions, and become healthier as a result. Don’t be
afraid to ask for help. AA/NA meetings, sponsors, therapists,
family, and friends can be great sources of support. If things get
really difficult and you need to check into a hospital or
rehabilitation center for a while, that’s okay. Most of us need
help overcoming our addictions. Recovery is worth the effort.
    People who work a truly effective recovery
program learn to accept their feelings. They are animated and alive
because when they’re happy, you know it, when they’re sad, they
show it, and they don’t feel guilty about having feelings
anymore.
    There’s no shame in crying. People who allow
themselves to cry are the most vital and alive people I know. I’m
not suggesting that we need to cry all the time. Just that we need
to be genuine with our emotions. If we feel like crying, cry! If we
feel like laughing, laugh! This human journey is processed on an
emotional level. When we stop feeling, we stop living.
    There is help for recovering alcoholics and
addicts. If you don’t know where to begin, try looking under
Alcoholism or Drug Abuse in the yellow pages. There are Alcoholics
Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous meetings in virtually every
community in the Western World.
    I started binge-drinking at the age of ten
because it helped me to numb the emotional pain of the abuse. I
remember slamming tall glasses of wine and whiskey with the boy who
lived next door. His father was an alcoholic,