Heal The Abuse - Recover Your Life Read Online Free PDF

Questions
    What are some of the misguided ways I’ve
tried to handle the pain of sexual abuse in the past? (Using
drugs/alcohol, avoiding the issue, relying on people in intimate
relationships to make me feel better about myself,
prostitution/pornography, etc…)
     
     
     
    How well have these misguided approaches
worked for me? Did they ever cause more problems than they
solved?
     
     
     
    What are some healthy techniques I can use
now to heal the pain of sexual abuse?
     
     
     
    What is one thing I can start doing
differently right away that will help me feel better about
myself?
     
     
     
     
    Stepping Stones to Health
    Healing Techniques
    -Try to identify where you are in the
stepping-stones to health, and the next step or steps you need to
take.
    _____ 1. I do not use any healing techniques
to work on my sexual abuse issues.
    _____ 2. I have tried to think positive about
my situation in the past.
    _____ 3. I have bought or read self-help or
informational books on the subject of sexual abuse.
    _____ 4. I have employed journaling, the
process of writing down my thoughts and
    feelings, to help me work through my sexual
abuse issues.
    _____ 5. I have spoken with other survivors
of sexual abuse and exchanged ideas on
    how to cope with my issues.
    _____ 6. I have used exercise as a means of
helping myself feel more emotionally
    stable.
    _____ 7. I have used meditation, acupuncture,
spirituality, or other means of
    healing.
    _____ 8. I have used medication, when
necessary, to help me deal with depression or other mental health
issues.
    _____ 9. I have seen or am seeing a
therapist, and am using EMDR or other therapeutic techniques to
help overcome my post-traumatic stress disorder.
    _____ 10. I am willing to use every healing
technique that is available to work through my sexual abuse issues,
and I recognize that each one has something unique to offer.
     
     
     

Chapter 4 – Chemical Addiction
    “People who drink to drown their sorrow should be
told that sorrow knows
    how to swim.”
    -Ann Landers
    Chemical addictions are often the result of
prolonged physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual pain. Most of
us drink or use drugs because we want to change the way we feel.
Other times, we drink or use because we want to numb out and feel
nothing at all.
    Low self-esteem is common in people with
chemical addictions. People with high self-esteem do not drink,
slam, snort, smoke, or eat themselves to death. Low self-esteem
makes it easier for us to engage in these self-destructive
behaviors.
    Getting drunk and vomiting blood is not a
good time. Selling our bodies to get money for dope is not a party.
Suffering from bronchitis for months on end because we can’t quit
smoking is not fun or relaxing. Chemical addictions are a way to
hurt ourselves, not to help ourselves.
    I know many of you never thought of your drug
or alcohol use as self-destructive, but the truth is, we do not
continue to drink or use addictively when we care about our
health.
    Some of us spent so many years
self-medicating with alcohol and drugs that we lost touch with our
feelings. When we get sober, we may experience a flood of emotions
or have difficulty feeling anything at all.
    Whenever we drink, smoke, slam, or snort, we
are trading our health and self-esteem for the rush of a quick
high. On a subconscious level, many of us are trying to numb our
pain and punish ourselves at the same time. What I have learned in
my years as an addict, and later an addictions counselor, is that
our true motives are; 1) to feel better, 2) to feel nothing at all,
or 3) to injure or kill ourselves.
    When I discuss the death instinct with my
clients, they invariably react with shock and denial. “I’m not
trying to kill myself,” they claim. “I want to feel better. I like
drinking/smoking/snorting. It makes me feel good.”
    But it doesn’t feel good to wake up in a
stranger’s bed because we blacked out and lost control of our
sexual urges. It doesn’t feel