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with (and since it isn’t with him, he won’t be on the defensive), and you’ve given him the assignment (to listen rather than problem solve), so he’s at his male forte. He’ll do as you ask.
    Here’s the catch: your husband won’t do his part until you do yours.
    Women Talk
    If I knew it was this simple, I’d have tried it years ago. The other day I caught my husband vacuuming. Vacuuming! We’ve been married 22 years, and I’ve never seen the man vacuum. If I run to the store and leave dishes on the table, the table is clean and the dishes are washed by the time I get home. All because I started to tell my husband how much I need him. Your plan really works.
    Phyllis, New York
    He Needs to Be Needed
    Think about how many friends you have—people you see on a regular basis, enjoy spending time with, go to lunch with.
    Now think about how many close friends your husband has—and I’m not talking about the co-workers he says good morning to when he snags his cup of coffee in the break room. I’m talking people who know him really well.
    Got it? Chances are high that it took you both hands to count all the friends you have. Then there’s your husband. If he’s a fortunate man, he has one close guy friend. For me, it’s my buddy Moonhead.
    We go way back. But unlike our wives, we don’t spend our time “sharing” our hearts. We don’t spend hours talking—though we do have a record of 36 minutes in a row, on a very serious subject.
    But that’s rare.
    Most of the time, your husband has one friend. Guess who that is? You. See why it’s so important that you respect him, as we talked about in the last section?
    Your husband needs to be needed. Not by just anyone, but by you. You figure much higher in your guy’s thoughts and life than you might think.
    When you show your husband that you need him in your world, you trigger his God-given drive to provide, to help, and to solve problems. That’s what a man likes to do best. He’s a natural at it. That's why your husband sometimes drives you crazy telling you that you should do X, Y, Z in certain situations. That's his way of taking care of the problem and thus showing he cares for you.
    Shut off that problem-solving ability, and your man no longer feels needed. He feels criticized and put down, and he backs off quickly. You no longer have a helper; you have a reticent, sulking child to deal with. (I’m not proud of this truth about men, but a fact’s a fact, and I’ll admit to it in my own behavior. Just ask Sande.)
    When it gets down to brass tacks, your husband doesn’t have a lot of close personal friends with whom he socializes and talks. He has you. And oftentimes you’re stressed. You have a career and multiple things to accomplish for the day. Add a kid or two or three in the mix, and how does your husband feel? Like a little puppy with sad eyes who’s left behind in the corner, just hoping someone will look up and see him and take him for a walk.
    It all goes back to the fact that your tough guy isn’t as tough as he looks. Buried underneath all that bravado is a sensitive heart that fears being hurt.
    Showing your husband he’s needed is almost an art form. But it’s so easy, and the results are worth the effort. When you see your husband in the evening, tell him, “Honey, I’m so glad you’re home. Today’s been a really stressful day, but all I could think about was getting to see you tonight again. I’m so glad I married you.” Then slip him the commercial. “After you change clothes, would you mind helping Caysie with her homework while I finish up dinner? Then she’ll be able to get to bed on time, and we can relax a little together.”
    Your husband needs to be needed. Not by just anyone, but by you. You figure much higher in your guy’s thoughts and life than you might think.
    Again, that’s a smart woman. First she tells him she’s glad to see him. (What guy doesn’t want to hear that?) Next she tells him the day has