Haunt Dead Wrong Read Online Free PDF Page A

Andy ignored him, continuing.
    ‘—and the hulking barbarian, Red Mary, watch on . . .’
    Dougie kissed the die, shaking it in his hand. He prepared to launch it. We all craned in, waiting with bated breath.
    ‘So, you and Will go and see the Major today then?’ blurted Stu. As mood-killers went, it was one of his best. I chuckled, Dougie ceased his die roll and Andy groaned.
    ‘You do this
every
time, Stu,’ sighed Andy. ‘Can’t you stay
in character
for just one session?’
    ‘Pfft,’ said Stu. ‘Where’s the drama? We all know what’s coming. The chest will be trapped and he’ll cark it in some way or another. Happens every time.
I’ve lost count of the number of times my priest has had to raise Filo Bigfoot back from the dead.’
    ‘You really are the worst holy man ever,’ said Dougie.
    ‘He has a point,’ I said. ‘You do make a lousy thief.’
    ‘Shut up, you,’ said Dougie, turning to where I hovered on his shoulder.
    ‘See, even Will agrees. He does, doesn’t he?’ Stu laughed. ‘So, did he tell you his name yet?’
    Ghost I may have been, but my existence was no longer a secret. Dougie may have been the only living soul who could see me, but I’d proved to the others – including Bloody Mary
– that I wasn’t just the fevered ramblings of Dougie’s addled mind. I may have been invisible, but they certainly knew I was there. And they were cool with that.
    ‘As it happens, we did go to see him, but no sign of his name yet,’ said Dougie, putting the die down for a moment as he grabbed a handful of the M&Ms. ‘Told him
they’re demolishing the airbase. It seemed to throw him.’
    ‘You think that’s it?’ asked Andy. ‘The air base gets flattened and
poof
, he’s out of here?’
    ‘No idea. He thinks he’s waiting for a sign. His connection’s with the hospital.’
    ‘We should do some digging,’ said Andy. ‘Find out who he is. A captain in the US Air Force who died while stationed over here?’
    ‘Get looking, pal,’ said Dougie. ‘He’s not spilling the beans any time soon.’
    ‘Is he going to roll the dice or what?’ asked Mary.
    ‘It’s
die
, singular,’ said Dougie, smiling at this small grammatical victory.
    ‘You want to meet my
fists
, plural, Nosebleed?’
    Dougie brought his attention back to the twenty-sided gem die.
    ‘Detect traps roll please, Dougie,’ said Andy.
    ‘Come on, mate,’ I said. ‘Break the habit of a lifetime. Show them how it’s done. Don’t muck it up.’
    Dougie kissed his lucky die once more, praying to his own deity, perhaps some little-known God of Hapless Hobbit Thieves. The die flew, bouncing off the bowl of M&Ms before coming to a halt
in the table centre. We all peered at the number. It was decidedly middling: ten. This was either a good or bad thing for Dougie. Stu sucked his teeth as Mary giggled, Andy referring to his
script.
    ‘You don’t detect any traps, Filo, your eagle-eyes searching for a needle within the lock. Your pick slips into the mechanism and after a few deft jiggles and cranks, you hear it
click. It’s open!’
    Dougie grinned at the other two.
    ‘Sadly,’ continued Andy, ‘you hadn’t noticed the pressure plate on the flag you were crouched upon. The paving stones give way around you, dropping you into a thirty-foot
pit trap on to a dozen five-foot iron spikes. Saving throw versus death please.’
    ‘Well, he opened the chest,’ said Stu.
    ‘Can we search through the treasure now?’ asked Mary.
    ‘Sod this,’ said Dougie, standing and scooping up his die and character sheet. ‘I’ve got better people I could be with.’
    ‘Oh yeah, who?’ asked Stu.
    ‘Lucy Carpenter, for one,’ said Dougie, storming for the door.
    ‘Fair point,’ said Andy.
    Dougie strode back, reaching between the two lovebirds to snatch up the bowl of tiny colourful chocolates from the middle of the table. He emptied them out into his jeans pocket.
    ‘And I’m taking my blooming M&Ms with me,