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actually sleep very much. I haven’t been sleeping well lately. I’ve gotta be up early tomorrow for a Chamber of Commerce meeting.”
    Wes stood up and smoothed down the front of his shirt. Jesse sat up, his dick and balls still hanging out.
    “You can’t blow it off?”
    “No. It’s a state fair committee meeting. I’m chair of the state fair committee, so I have to be there. We’ll talk soon.”
    Wes kissed Jesse again before letting himself out. He meant it when he told Jesse that they’d talk soon. He’d known since he first met Jesse that he wanted to do things differently with him, to approach a relationship with him at another angle. But so far, an exchange of blow jobs didn’t seem all that different from the trajectory of previous relationships. He wondered briefly if he even knew how to do things differently.

Chapter Six
    Jesse wasn’t surprised when he got a text from Wes late Saturday morning. He felt that they would ultimately be more than a one-night thing.
    Wes came over Sunday evening and made dinner for the two of them. It was their first real date without any pretense of house-buying or the porn star secret hanging over their heads. It was the start of their intense affair. They saw each other nearly every day. The sex was better each time they had it, which was every time they were together, although Wes refused to fuck Jesse or allow Jesse to fuck him. That wasn’t totally unusual, and the blow jobs and hand jobs were superb, although Jesse was hoping for more. Usually, Wes came over to Jesse’s apartment after work. Occasionally, they’d meet up for dinner, but they always ended the evening at Jesse’s apartment. Initially, Jesse was really happy. Wes told him so much about his life—about his mother, about his life in porn and why he left it, about real estate, about teaching his office assistant Lucy the ropes. One night, Wes had told him all about Bobby, clearly the love of his porn life. Jesse had felt a bit sorry for Wes. Bobby seemed to be the one that got away. Jesse could tell that Wes still cared about his former co-star a great deal.
    As much as he appreciated Wes’ candor, it was the sameness that started to nag at Jesse. Wes never invited him over to his apartment. Wes said his mother knew he was gay, but was she the sort of parent who still wanted to deny that knowledge? Could she not handle him having a boyfriend? They went to Gary and Jeff’s a couple of times for dinner, which was fun. On one occasion, they had a quickie in the gazebo. Wes always said that Jesse’s place was so convenient, so close to his office. They even went to the same two places for dinner much of the time—the gastropub and the Italian place that Jesse liked.—and even then they didn’t go out to eat that often. Wes said that those were the only two places in Urlack worth going to for dinner. Jesse agreed, but still wondered why they couldn’t be a bit more adventurous just for the hell of it. Jesse was starting to wonder if he had become yet another of Wes’ secrets, and then he started to realize the truth. He had become one of Wes’ secrets. He had been in denial about the reason, but Wes was only partially out. His mother knew he was gay, as did Gary and Jeff and their friends, but Jesse doubted that knowledge about Wes’ sexuality went beyond that tight circle. He asked Wes about it one night when they were in bed after having sex.
    “Isn’t it hard? You know, with only some people knowing who you really are?”
    Wes opened his eyes. “Not really. Well, sometimes, I guess. I mean, not everyone has to know everything about me. It’s none of their business.”
    “Well, yeah, but—”
    “Besides, if they knew I was gay, how long do you think it would take some people to figure out that I did porn? Who’d buy houses from me here if they knew?”
    Jesse hadn’t known what to say to him at that point. He knew how conservative Urlack could be. Urlack residents might be accepting of