Handling the Undead Read Online Free PDF Page A

Elias. Sixtyseven colourful plastic beads threaded on a fishing line, now tied around his neck for all eternity.

    While he continued to walk he rubbed the beads one by one like a rosary, like prayers.

    It was three flights up to his daughter's apartment; he had to stop and catch his breath for a while. Then he unlocked the door with his own key. Inside it was dark, stuffy and stale from unaired heat.

    'Hi sweetheart. It's just me.'

    No answer. As usual he feared the worst.

    But Anna was there, and still alive. She lay curled up on Elias' bed, on the designer sheets that Mahler had bought, her face turned to the wall. Mahler put down the shopping bag, stepped over the dusty Lego pieces and perched himself gingerly on one corner of the bed.

    'How's it going, little one?'

    Anna drew in air through her nose. Her voice was weak. 'Daddy .. .I can feel his smell. It's still there in the sheets. His smell is still here.'

    Mahler would have liked to lie down on the bed, against her back. Put his arms around her and been Daddy, and made everything hurtful go away. But he didn't dare to. The bed slats would crack under his weight. So he simply sat there, looking at the Lego pieces that no one had built anything with for two months.

    When he had been looking for an apartment for Anna, there was one on the ground floor of this same building. He hadn't taken that one, out of fear of burglars.

    'Come and have something to eat.'

    Mahler put out two servings of roast beef and potato salad from plastic containers, cut up a tomato and placed the slices on the edge of the plates. Anna did not answer.

    The blinds in the kitchen were drawn, but the sun pressed ill through the cracks, drawing glowing lines across the kitchen table and illuminating the whirling motes. He should clean. Lacked the energy.

    Two months ago, the table had been full of things: fruit, mail, a toy, a flower picked during a walk, something Elias had made at daycare. The stuff of life.

    Now there was just the two plates of supermarket food. The heat and the smell of dust. The bright red tomatoes; a pathetic attempt.

    He went to Elias' room, stopped in the doorway. 'Anna ... you need to eat a little. Come on. It's ready.'

    Anna shook her head, said into the wall, 'I'll eat it later. Thanks.'

    'Can't you get up for a while?'

    When she didn't answer, he went out into the kitchen again and sat down at the table.

    Started loading the food into his mouth automatically. Thought the sound of his chewing echoed between the quiet walls. Finally he ate the tomato slices. One by one.

    A ladybug had landed on the balcony railing.

    Anna had been busy packing. They were going to Mahler's summer house in Roslagen, staying a couple of weeks.

    'Mummy, a ladybug .. .look.'

    She had come out into the living room in time to see Elias standing on the outdoor table, reaching out for the ladybug as it flew away. One of the legs of the table gave way. She didn't get there in time.

    Below the balcony was the parking lot. Black asphalt.

    'Here, pumpkin.'

    Mahler held out the fork with a serving of food for Anna. She sat up in bed, took the fork and put it into her mouth. Mahler handed her the plate. Her face was red and swollen and there were grey streaks in her brown hair. She ate four bites, then handed back the plate.

    'Thank you. That was delicious.'

    Mahler put the plate down on Elias' desk, put his hands in his lap.

    'Have you been out today?' 'I've been with him.'

    Mahler nodded. Couldn't think of anything else to say. When he i stood up he banged his head into the wooden duck suspended over the bed. It flapped its wings a few times, swishing air across Anna's. face. Stopped.

    Back in his own apartment on the other side of the courtyard, he removed his sweat-drenched clothes, showered, pulled on his robe and took a couple of painkillers for the headache. He sat down at the computer and logged into Reuters. Spent an hour searching for and translating three items.

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