Greegs & Ladders Read Online Free PDF Page A

his
eyeballs to stop the pain. It didn’t work. It only made him yelp
out with more pain. This woke up the other male in the cage. The
other male in the cage flew into a rage, furious at being awoken
from a fabulous dream. His dream involved having just decided what
combination of rotations, spins and poses he would employ after
running and jumping off of a 100 meter high dive springy board
right into his own, brand new schmold pool.
    The other male
picked up a pile of Greeg feces and rubbed it all over the first
male’s face. To make things easier, we will henceforth call these
two males Zook and Naddy. There is absolutely no reason to suspect
these names have any significance, they are completely random.
    Zook, the
first male, did not understand why his friend would share such nice
stinky feces all over his face like that.
    “What a lucky
break!” Thought Zook.
    Clearly, this
terrific new stench and nauseating outward, physical appearance
would guarantee that Zook would get to attempt first, third, and
probably eighth as well today. His inability to comprehend Naddy’s
reasoning infuriated Zook, leading him to grip Naddy by the back of
the head and clang clang clang his good friend's face into the bars
of the cage until it was all bloody. Just for good measure, Zook
pissed all over Naddy’s bloody face.
    By this time
the female had seen about enough. She was completely and utterly
turned on. She revealed the sterility covers and the two males
rushed over to see which one was to be chosen first, third, and
most importantly, eighth.
    11 minutes had
passed since Zook had first awoken from his nap.
    This was why
Greegs were such a damned fine carnival attraction!

CHAPTER 12
    Specters and
Greeg-keepers
     
    Viewing this
skeezy carnival show was a gathering of Algreenian fog-specters.
They were in dire need of some high quality entertainment, having
just finished a legendarily bad cruise of some of the more boring
outer dimensions, including a tour of the famous invisible
dimension. Life is much worse when everything is invisible, despite
what was boasted about on travel posters. Carnival Greegs are
highly recommended as a pick-me-up for anyone who has recently
visited the invisible dimension, and so here were these Algreenian
spectres drifting around waiting for the show.
    An impatient
spectre tried to pick up a rock and throw it at Naddy but his
spectral, non-existant hand merely passed right through the solid
object. The spectre then asked the nearest living creature if they
would do him the favor of throwing a rock at the Greegs. The
creature obliged, throwing a rock at Naddy, further worsening his
mangled appearance. While this was going on, Zook thrashed his arms
about wildly. It was a ridiculously pointless thing to do.
    “We paid for a
show!” yelled the rock-throwing instigator.
    “Yeah! A show!
We want to see something!” chimed in the rest of the crowd.
    “Don’t you
know we’ve just been through the invisible dimension?” screeched a
belligerent specter. “Not a whole lot to see there! In fact,
nothing at all.”
    The
Greeg-keeper continued rapping on the cage bars with his
electro-club. Greegs usually became obedient once the electro-club
appeared. This particular Greeg-keeper was a tall goblin-like
creature. He had fangs and claws and red eyes. His name was Reg. He
was more frightening than his casually friendly name would suggest,
being a tall goblin-like creature with fangs and claws and red
eyes.
    “These
specter-folk haven’t got all day,” growled Reg. “Or do they?” he
added, turning to face the specters. “Are you lot dead? What’s the
deal with all the floating and the translucence?”
    “No, we’re not
dead,” replied one of the specters. “We are living creatures born
in a ghostly form. When we die we become bodies of flesh and
blood.”
    “That’s
stupid. A bit backwards, don’t you think?” asked Reg.
    “I say the
only thing that is backwards is the fact that we have paid