Greegs & Ladders Read Online Free PDF

you for
a non-existent show, when in fact you should be paying us for the
wasting of our time.”
    “I’m not sure
you’ve even paid me,” said Reg. “All I’ve got is this invisible
money. Can’t even see it to know if it’s there.”
    “We told you,
that money is perfectly transferable from within the invisible
dimension. Once you’re there you can trade the invisible money for
any sort of bejewelled holograph-coins or whatever other foolish
currency you’re trading in nowadays.”
    “Right,” said
Reg. “I understand that part. Just not sure when I’ll ever bother
to go to the invisible dimension, that’s all. This money will
probably just end up sitting around taking up invisible space on my
visible dresser.”
    “ Not go
to the invisible dimension? You must go to the invisible dimension,” said a specter in a manner
snooty enough to suggest that anyone who doesn’t go to the
invisible dimension is leading a wasted life.
    “I don’t get
it, you’ve all been going off about how boring the invisible
dimension is,” said Reg.
    “Yeah, but
we’re specters. We’re practically invisible ourselves. We prefer to
see solid objects to counterbalance our spectral state. The
invisible dimension might be a nice change-up for you though. I
hear one of flesh and blood feels thinner while there.”
    Reg grew
annoyed. “Look, I’m never going to visit the invisible dimension.
The cost of travelling there is way more than what I’ll make
trading in the money. Plus I think it’s all a scam.”
    Caught up in
their heated discussion, Reg and the specters failed to notice the
Greeg show starting in a tremendous way. There was a great battle
over who would make the coveted eighth attempt, with Zook
prevailing because of his aforementioned newly acquired stench. The
show was over by the time the specters focused their attention back
on the cage. Because they didn’t see anything Reg was forced to
refund their invisible money. Unbeknownst to Reg, specters are not
great liars. The pouch of invisible money was indeed real, and
would have fetched several islands worth of bejewelled
holograph-coins, granted Reg could handle the mind-shattering
experience of crossing the invisible dimension’s psychic threshold,
which of course he couldn’t, being an imbecilic goblin. After the
specters drifted away, Reg approached the cage.
    “Those are
good customers we lost because of you!” he yelled at Zook and
Naddy.
    Naddy tried to
explain how well the show had gone, and that it was the audience's
fault for missing out.
    “Never mind,”
said Reg as he walked away from the cage. “Useless Greegs. Just go
back to dreaming about your green pools or whatever it is I hear
you muttering about in your sleep.”
    Zook thrashed
his arms about wildly.

CHAPTER 13
    Dr. Rip T.
Brash Makes a Wager
     
    Dr. Rip
T. Brash The Third was neither a doctor nor was he royalty. He
wasn’t the third of anything, he’d never been to school and he
wasn’t really so much of a ‘he’ either. It’s just weird calling him
an ‘it’ but he had no discernible sexual orientation. Not because
he lacked sexual organs. Rip had no discernible sexual orientation
precisely because he had so many sexual organs. He had an absolutely ridiculous assortment
of penises, vaginas, coil rods, flipper flaps, egg baskets, cram
rams, biddle twocks, horm guffles, abble taters, phrish kerrings,
wodder musks, mickle shoots, marrinvioles, and all sorts of other
exotic pieces of procreation and pleasure. At this point, Rip
couldn’t really remember which ones he was born with, and which
he’d had surgically implanted or removed. He was a hulky thing. A
clunky, yet carefully put together specimen. He had many eyes, some
of which were capable of site. He had a few brains, some of which
were capable of thought. He had four arms, three legs, nine
tentacles, eight nipples, three beards (but only one chin)… in
general he had a lot of extraneous parts. He was like a car