Gooney Bird Greene Read Online Free PDF Page A

out in a loud whisper.
    "Shhhh," said the class.
    Gooney Bird continued.
     
     
    Gooney Bird put the blue gumball into her mouth. It made a large lump in her cheek, and it tasted like spearmint.
    She felt doubly lopsided now.
    So she took another penny from her money collection and put it into the gumball machine. This time she got a yellow gumball. She put the yellow gumball into her mouth, and now she had a large lump on either side of her face, so her face wasn't lopsided, but her head still felt lopsided because she had only one diamond earring.
    So she put another penny in, and she got a red gumball. She put it into her pocket to save for later. Now her hips felt lopsided. She took another penny from her money collection.
    This time she got an orange gumball and put it into her other pocket, and now her hips weren't lopsided anymore, but she still had only one diamond earring.
     
     
    Gooney Bird stopped the story and looked at the class. "I am going to jump ahead now," she said. "Mrs. Pidgeon, is there a word for when an author jumps ahead in a story and skips over some things?"
    Mrs. Pidgeon thought about it. "When an author jumps backward in a story, it is called a 'flashback.' So maybe jumping ahead would be called a 'flash-forward'?"
    "Well," Gooney Bird announced, "I am flashing forward."
     
     
    After twenty minutes, all of the pennies in Gooney Bird's money collection were gone. And the gumball machine was empty. Now Gooney Bird had sixty-seven gumballs: two in her mouth, two in her pockets, and sixty-three in her Ziploc bag.
    Also, she had a pair of very large, glittery, dangly diamond earrings, which she wears to this day.
    When they saw her in the diamond earrings, everyone in the palace, including the prince, two motorcycle guys, and a lady in a wheelchair, cheered. Then they hugged and kissed and did a short but quite beautiful ballet.
    The End
     
     
    "What a lovely story!" Mrs. Pidgeon said. "And the flash-forward was very effective, Gooney Bird. I'm so glad you finally got the second earring."
    Gooney Bird turned her head from side to side so her

    classmates could admire the earrings. All of the children clapped.
    "Did the prince ask you to marry him?" Keiko asked.
    "What are you talking about?" Gooney Bird said. "The Prinns are already married. Mr. Howard Prinn is married to Mrs. Amanda Prinn. One Prinn plus one Prinn equals Prinns. The Prinns lived next door to me with their dog, Napoleon."
    "Oh," the children said. " Prinns. "
    Barry Tuckerman had jumped up and was waving his arm frantically in the air.
    "That wasn't a true story!" Barry called out.
    "I tell only absolutely true stories," Gooney Bird said impatiently. "How many times must I tell you that?"
    "No, it wasn't, because I've seen lots of pictures of palaces, and they have throne rooms, and red carpets, and people get dressed up in ball gowns, and—"
    "Barry, Barry, Barry," Gooney Bird said with a sigh. "What am I going to do with you?"
    "What do you mean?" Barry asked.
    "You're talking about a small-p palace. But I was talking about a capital-letter ice cream shop called The Palace, where they have—"
    "Bathrooms!" Beanie suggested.
    "And a gumball machine!" Chelsea said. "With diamond earrings!"
    "Exactly right," Gooney Bird said, and she took her seat. Then carefully she unscrewed her dangling earrings. "Ouch," she said. "These really hurt."
    Malcolm returned to the classroom. "Did you get out of jail, Gooney Bird?" he asked.
    Gooney Bird looked unhappy for a moment. "No," she said. "Napoleon ate my Monopoly game."

5.

    On Tuesday, all of the children, including Felicia Ann, arrived at school early—even Malcolm, who had never been early before.
    Tricia had a flower in her hair.
    Ben was wearing a vest.
    Keiko had a tiny bit of pink lipstick on her lips.
    And Barry Tuckerman was wearing a polka dot bow tie.
    "Good morning, class," Mrs. Pidgeon said. "Don't you all look nice today!"
    "You do, too, Mrs. Pidgeon!" the children said,