Going Nowhere Fast Read Online Free PDF Page A

was right, then started to defend himself further, only to find my hand clamped firmly across his mouth. "Your father's right, Theodore. You should be ashamed of yourself."
    His jaw went slack, his eyes fell, and he nodded, duly ashamed.
    "But tell me something. Just for the record. What's your take so far?"
    "Thirty-seven bucks," Bad Dog said.
    "In forty-five minutes?"
    "Yes ma'am."
    "Gimme that sign," I said.
    Big Joe wheeled around and Dog and I both broke up.
    You want 'em to stick around awhile, girls, you've got to keep 'em on their toes.
    *     *     *     *
    I didn't have any money, but I went shopping anyway. We women can do that.
    I hate to say it, but it's an art form that simply escapes most men. That's why they almost always refuse to come along. Joe says going shopping without money is like going fishing without a pole. You can watch all the fish swim by you want, but you can't take a single one home.
    He doesn't get it.
    Women like to shop because it's fun, not because it's profitable. As they say in the romance game, the chase is the thing, not the catch. Inspecting the goods, feeling an object's texture and weight, assessing its value compared to its price—it all makes for a very sensual experience. Finding a bargain you can blow some of your money on is just a bonus.
    I told Joe and Bad Dog to entertain themselves for a while, then went straight to Hopi House, empty purse and all.
    Hopi House is a wonderful little gift shop at the Grand Canyon's south rim—next to the EI Tovar Hotel—which was modeled after the pueblos of the Native American village of the same name. The shop specializes in genuine Native American arts and crafts, primarily those of the Hopi and Navajo, and I had never seen more beautiful items in my life. Jewelry, pottery, woven rugs, and wood carvings—the color and craftsmanship of everything was simply exquisite. I had a field day.
    Despite the fact that I couldn't shake the feeling I was being watched the whole time.
    I'd round a corner, or be talking to a salesperson, and suddenly sense someone's eyes upon me. But when I'd turn to look—there'd be no one there. No one who showed the slightest interest in me, anyway.
    It was odd, to say the least.
    The last time it happened, I was stepping out a side door to leave. Again the feeling came over me that someone, somewhere behind me, was shadowing my every move. Ranger Cooper, or one of his brethren, I thought to myself, immediately resenting the idea. I was going to turn around one more time to look—and then I thought better of it, and stepped through the door and out of the building instead.
    I stood just outside the door and waited to see who would be the next one through.
    It was a clever plan, but it fell flat on its face when the door opened and a mass of humanity poured out. Or six people, to be more exact: two male/female couples and two individuals, a man and a woman, all grouped together like kids during a school fire drill. I couldn't make out the pairings until they split off in different directions, but by that time, I'd lost any chance I might have had to see if either of the two individuals had been surprised to find me standing there. I didn't think the woman had, but I wasn't so sure about the man. All I'd noticed about him was that he had a pair of binoculars hanging from his neck.
    And now he was gone.
    Less than a minute later, so was I.
    *     *     *     *
    "His name was Geoffry Bettis," Ranger Cooper said. "Geoffry Lamar Bettis. That name mean anything to any of you?"
    One by one, we all shook our heads for his benefit. First Big Joe, then Bad Dog, then me. We were in his office at the ranger station in the village, sitting in various chairs around his desk. We were all a little nervous, but I was even more than that, as I had the additional pressure of having to keep my eyes off Cooper's face in general, and his mustache in particular. Big Joe was watching me like a hawk.
    "He was