Getting to Happy Read Online Free PDF Page A

okay?” I wanted to slap her back to twelve, but I couldn’t/didn’t. I simply asked her who she’d been intimate with, praying it was just the one boy, Gustav, she’d been so crazy about for six consecutive weeks.
    “It’s not about my world, Mom. It’s yours. You don’t have a life. You’re too smart and pretty to live the way you do. My friends think you look like a movie star! That’s what you should do, Mom! Live your life like you’re starring in your own movie!”
    “And who’d direct it, Miss Eye on the Sparrow?” I’m trying to go along with this little game of charades.
    “You waste like ten amazing hours a day going to a dull job you get nothing out of, which is why I’m surprised you’re not popping ADs like Auntie Bern. In fact, maybe you should borrow some from her since going to the gym isn’t doing much for your endorphins. I mean, you’re in great shape, but what good does it do you if no one ever gets to appreciate it?”
    “ I do. And how do you know your auntie is taking antidepressants?”
    “Taylor told me.”
    “How does Taylor know?”
    “Because she found her stash. By accident when she was over there. That’s not all she’s on.”
    “What else is she on ?”
    “Ambien and Xanax.”
    “What exactly is Ambien?”
    “Where have you been all your life, Mom? It’s a sleeping pill and it’s really no big deal. Everybody’s on something. Most of the kids at my school get their meds from their parents’ and grandparents’ medicine cabinets.”
    “Are you telling me you’ve looked in my medicine cabinet for drugs?”
    “No . . . well, yes. I just wanted to see what gets you through the day besides exercise. But you’re clean—I’m happy to say.”
    “And what have you tried?”
    “Ritalin. But I didn’t like feeling all wired up and zingy. Plus, I’m not running from anything. I haven’t had anything tragic happen to me yet, so I’m cool with my own head.”
    How this child thinks amazes me and what comes out of her mouth is often astonishing. I never know what to expect but I’m thankful she has a mind of her own. “What about marijuana?”
    “Now, that I like. I can’t lie.”
    “You mean you smoke it?”
    “No, I do not. I said I like it, which is why I refuse to do it. Anything that alters my mind can’t be cool. Too many of my friends at school are like totally zonked because they’re stoned all the time. Can’t study like that.”
    “Damn” is all I can say. When I see a bank I remember I don’t have any cash and forgot to give her lunch money. I swerve into the parking lot. “I have to stop at the ATM. I’ll be right back.”
    I take my debit card out of my purse, and right after I push it in the slot and it asks me for my password, I lift my hand to punch in the numbers but my mind draws a blank. I don’t believe this. I can’t remember my fucking password! I stand there a few more seconds trying to think hard and keep coming up with all these other configurations, but not the one I need.
    Sparrow honks the horn and sticks her head out the window. “What’s wrong, Mom? Is it out of money or are you?” She chuckles.
    I’m now perspiring. My forehead is beading wet balls. My deodorant isn’t working and I suddenly feel like someone turned a furnace on inside me and put it on a hundred degrees. Damnit! I don’t think I can go through this much longer. It’s unfortunate I’m still having periods, and I’ll be glad when they stop. I blow a tunnel of air out of my mouth and pretend I remember the password. This time I place my fingers on the buttons and let them press whatever numbers they are inclined to. When I see the screen change I’m ecstatic. I get sixty bucks and hand twenty to Sparrow when I get back in the car.
    “Thanks mucho gusto,” she says and tucks it inside her bra. “Anyway, Mom, I’m on your side, okay? We’ve been card members from day one.”
    “I get your point, okay?”
    “But we haven’t even gotten to