From Bad to Wurst Read Online Free PDF Page A

acknowledged Helen as they broke ranks, adding in an undertone, “unbelievable as that might sound.”
    A bomb exploding and hell freezing over on the same day? Wow. Talk about momentous.
    â€œWhat role did you play in the rescue effort, Ms. Zwerg?” Etienne inquired.
    â€œPhotographic historian.” She elevated her chin at a haughty angle. “I got pictures of the whole disaster. Someone had to. Bob was so obsessed about holding Emily’s hand that he set his camcorder aside.” Her mouth slid into a sultry smile. “Did you know I used to be a magazine model?”
    Dad held my hand while I was unconscious? Aww .
    I spotted him on the periphery, calm and quiet amid all the chatter, peeking out from behind Dick Teig’s head, a shy smile on his lips. Catching his eye, I mouthed, “Thanks, Dad.”
    He gave a quick nod and flashed a happy face before Dick moved his head, hiding him from view.
    Dad was a man of few words. We weren’t sure what all the words were, but among his favorites were yup, sure, and uh-huh.
    Dad was nothing if not positive.
    Bernice paused in front of me, studying my face. “Have you seen yourself in a mirror yet?”
    â€œI haven’t quite mustered the courage.”
    She nodded sagely. “Smart.” Then, under her breath, “That was actually a compliment. Don’t let it go to your head.”
    â€œAren’t you a sight for sore eyes!” Wally’s voice echoed throughout the lobby as he hurried toward me. Banding his arms around me, he smothered me in a huge bear hug. “Don’t ever do that again. We all aged about ten years watching them load you into that ambulance today.”
    â€œI didn’t,” countered Bernice. “Unlike the disturbing number of milquetoast lefties on this trip, I’m not a bleeding heart.”
    Margi sniffed. “That’s because you don’t have one.”
    â€œDo so.”
    â€œDo not.”
    â€œWell, I sure added ten years to my life,” hooted Osmond. “Practically speaking, I should be dead.”
    â€œSeriously, Em.” Wally held me away from him and searched my face. “Are you all right?”
    I shrugged. “So far, so good. A little weepy, a little wobbly, but I’m hanging in there.”
    He glanced at Etienne. “Any recommendations from the hospital?”
    â€œHer scans came back negative, so she can resume normal activities as soon as she feels up to it, although the doctor discouraged her from dancing the polka at the festival tent tonight. I’m thinking a light schedule for the next couple of days might be in order.”
    â€œShe should do nothing for the next few days,” Mom insisted as she hovered close by. “You boys have your hands full with the tour, so I’ll take over responsibility for Emily.” She waved off any objections. “No need to thank me. It’s no bother at all. I’ll stick to her like bark to a tree. Won’t that be fun, Em?”
    Oh, no.
    â€œReally, Mom, I’m not going to ruin your vacation by saddling you with guard duty. I’m perfectly fine. The doctor said so.”
    Nana shuffled up to us in her size 5 sneakers, her eyes twinkling with mischief behind her wire rims. “You better listen to your mother, Emily. If she’s got a notion to keep an eye on you, let her, on account of worry can cause strokes, and we don’t want your mother to suffer no stroke.”
    â€œThat’s right,” said Mom, adding a little fist pump for emphasis. “I—” Pausing in sudden reflection, she cocked her head and arched a brow at Nana. “A stroke? Seriously?”
    Nana shrugged. “You’re creepin’ up there in age, Margaret, so who knows?”
    Omigod. Nana was using fear tactics to sic Mom on me.
    â€œI think it’d do your maternal instincts a whole world of good to watch over Emily for a few days,” Nana encouraged.