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Jenny talking about douchebag Bobby Dylan asking her to prom. Jenny, who I always thought was one of the school's biggest sluts, was making fun of Ry because she was still a virgin. She suggested Ry give it up to Bobby. I would cut him up to little pieces and use him for fishing bait if she went to prom with him. She didn't though, she declined the asshole and told me because he was a dick to me and anyone that was a dick to her best friend wasn't good enough for her. I wanted to tell her no one was good enough for her, not even me, but I kept my thoughts of self-pity to myself. Ry was too happy to be weighed down by my bullshit. 
    There was so much bullshit too. My mom and Rod showed up every now and then, and Megan would always have a few bruises. She'd lie and say it was some accidental fall, or she bumped into something. Me and Gage knew better though. Gage had gone out with friends a few weeks before my birthday. He called me that night, drunk and practically crying because he thought he killed Rod. I never got the full story, but he somehow ended up running into Rod and they got into a fight where Gage pummeled him until he was a bloody mess. I stole Gram's car to pick him up, drunk and stumbling away from the bowling alley. Well he didn't kill Rod, we found out a few days later, but he delivered enough of a beating that Rod didn't remember what happened so no charges were ever pressed. Thankfully. I couldn't lose my brother because of that asshole. I would have for sure killed him. With Gram's health deteriorating it was kind of only me and Gage left. Of course Ry was always around, but it wasn't like it used to be and that was all my fault, some of Gage's too. The older he got, he started making new friends, a lot of girls, and Ryley kind of fell into the same category he lumped all girls: fuckable. He'd never act though; I just knew he wouldn't do that to me.
    Often he'd bring around girls, mainly the cheer squad, and if Gage didn't have time to give them, they came for me. I never acted though, there was only one girl and I was saving myself for her, for that day I could get my shit together and convince myself I could protect her again. I was certain my brother knew this. 
    Me and Ryley were sixteen now and I knew she wouldn't wait around for me forever, but after that shit I had spouted off about the surprise party, I wasn't sure she wanted anything to do with me anymore. But that was it, I was ready, I had to be ready before I lost her to one of the other guys at school. Ryley was mine and even at sixteen I knew we belonged together. I'd known it since I was eight. 
    I pulled my bracelet out of my front pocket and slipped it on my wrist. I had reinforced my band when I accidentally washed it with my jeans once and I knew it was going to snap. Fishing line and barrel swivels promised to secure our creation. I had wanted to do it to Ry's too; she still wore hers every day, but I never had it in me to remind her about the friendship we once had without feeling guilty that I'd pushed her away so much. I was ready to apologize, ready to fix her bracelet so it didn't break again, ready to ask her if she forgave me for everything I'd done since that night Rod killed more than just my dog. I was ready to beg Ryley to help me fix everything that was broken inside of me. 
    After grabbing a few barrel swivels and a spool of Gage's thick, purple fishing line, I jumped out the window. Her parents were in the living room with Gram and they hadn't noticed when I came back. I didn't want them asking questions why I wasn't over at the party. 
      "I love you, Ry," I muttered. "I still love you, Ry. I've always loved you. Do you love me? Do you know I still love you?" I sighed and rubbed my face tiredly. No matter how I said it, I was going to sound stupid because I should have never stopped saying it. "Your dress is pretty. No, beautiful, girls like beautiful." I stopped walking and looked up, realizing I was actually