Faster We Burn Read Online Free PDF

Yellow roses mean ‘I’m sorry’. I looked it up.” He gave me the knee-weakening smile that had found me across a crowded room at that party last summer. I looked away from it, like looking away from the sun so you didn’t burn your retinas.
    “I’m sorry, Zack. I don’t want to talk to you.” I tried to push the door open, but he stopped me.
    “Please. I know you don’t want to be with me, but I just miss you. I want to tell you how sorry I am. I need to make this right. Please.” He held the flowers out to me and I reluctantly took them. They were beautiful. His words were soft and sincere and I saw a glimpse of the guy I’d fallen in love with. And if I was honest, a guy I was still a little in love with.
    He stroked the side of my face with one finger. “Please, babe. I just want to talk to you.”
    I took a deep breath and his familiar smell brought back memories of the summer, of lying in his truck bed and looking at the stars as he pointed out the constellations.
    I pushed the memory aside. “Fine. When?” Definitely not until I stopped feeling like I was going to puke any second. Although I wasn’t sure if it was the shrimp anymore, or if it was the thought of being alone with him. Stryker’s warning went through my mind. Screw him! I could handle this. One last time and then he’d leave me alone and I could start selling the crap he’d gotten me and finally burn all the pictures of the two of us. This would be the period at the end of our relationship.
    “Tonight? Can we go somewhere? Just for a little drive like we used to. I need to get off campus for a little while. How about it?” He leaned into me, making it hard to think. Why did he have to smell so good?
    “Okay, okay.”
    “Look, I have this thing I need to do, but I’ll text you?”
    I nodded and he let go of my door. “Sure.”
    “See you later, babe.” His fingers brushed my shoulder and he disappeared down the hall. I opened my door and shut it, hard, leaning against it to make sure it was closed. I threw the roses on the floor.
    Yellow roses my ass.
     
    ***
     
    He didn’t text me until late. Zan and Lottie were having a movie night and everyone else had plans of some sort. I was on the phone with Stryker when Zack texted me.
    “I have to go,” I said, sighing. He’d been playing me “Imagine”, by John Lennon on his banjo.
    “Where to?” I wasn’t going to be able to lie to him. I passed the phone to my other hand so I could put on my jacket. We hadn’t had snow yet, but it was definitely coming.
    “I’m having a chat with Zack.”
    He paused for so long that I thought the call had dropped. Finally he spoke, and it sounded like he was gritting his teeth on every word.
    “I’m not going to call you an idiot, but you will be if you go. Don’t do it, Katie.”
    “Don’t tell me what to do, Stryker.”
    “The only reason I’m telling you what to do right now is because you know that you shouldn’t go. I know you know that you’re going to regret it.” The only thing I’d regret was not getting the last word, but I wasn’t completely immune to the fact that Zack had hurt me in the past, physically, and he could again. It was a risk I’d be willing to take to have this over.
    “I can hear you thinking,” he said.
    “Shut up.” I grabbed my key card and my purse. “I’m going. I’m going to make a clean break with him, that’s all. The end.” The roses were already history; torn and bruised at the bottom of the trash can. I’d taken great pleasure in tearing off each individual petal. My stomach had gotten over whatever had affected me and my head was clear. I was doing this.
    His voice was soft and insistent. “Don’t do it, Katie. Please.”
    “Why do you care?”
    “Because I care about you!” he yelled. “Christ, how can you not know that?” I stopped, my hand on the doorknob. He wasn’t supposed to care. That wasn’t part of our deal, not that we’d sat down and really talked about