showing off his new .45 in the living room and accidently fired it while pretending he was a gunslinger. Cody couldnât stop laughing about the look on my face. I couldnât stop thinking about how stupid it would have been for my whole life to come down to being shot through the skull by some drunk dumbass. Thatâs when I decided I wanted out.
Leander helped me set up the emancipation. Talked to my parents about signing off, telling them it would be better all around. They had never heard of emancipation, and they mostly saw it as me thinking I was too good for them. But in the end they signed off, because what difference did it really make? The judge determined that it was in my best interest and that Iâd proved to be self-sufficient. And just like that, I was a seventeen-year-old legal adult and could live on my own.
Weâd been driving in Leanderâs Cadillac for a while before he said anything else. âSo thatâs it, then?â
âI guess so.â
âWhatâs your plan? Work in my store for the rest of your life?â
âWhatâs wrong with that?â
âNothing wrong with it. I like having you there. Itâs fine with me if you want to spend the next twenty years giving boogery kids guitar lessons and spending your lunchtimes eating with an old man.â
âGood, because thatâs what I want to do,â I said, even though it felt bad to say.
Leander braked at a stop sign, but then he didnât get going again. We just sat there. âNow that Iâm old, I look back on my younger self, and I realize the number of chances a person gets to change their lifeâI mean really change itâthere ainât many. And most times, it ainât even any.â
âI missed the flight,â I reminded him. Now, I had some idea that I could call the producers and beg them to get me another ticket. Maybe they could do it. I didnât really know. Iâd heard that out in Los Angeles, people in TV just threw money around like it was confetti.
But I couldnât bring myself to pick up the phone. Asking for another ticket felt the same as saying that I was just some backwoods guy who had messed up before anything even started. What was I gonna say? Hey, sorry I missed the flight, got arrested for being at a drug party. Can you just send another four hundred dollars?
I told Leander, âItâs over.â
âThereâs more than one way to get to California.â
âMaybe I donât want to hear what those people think of my singing anyway.â
Leander nodded again, like I was making some kind of sense, but then he said, âI think youâre lying to yourself. I think you do want to know. You think itâs common to have the kind of talent you have? That promise, itâs in your bones, and if you donât let it out, itâs gonna burn you up. And I donât feel like sitting around watching it happen. So youâre fired.â
I smiled, assuming that he was joking. âCâmon.â
âThatâs right.â He gave me a look that said, Cut the bull . Then he pulled the car up to my house and held out some cash. âHereâs two hundred dollars severance pay. That should be enough gas money to get you to LA. Donât think it over another second. You get out of my truck, and you leave town right this minute.â
When he wanted, Leander had a way of talking that cut right into me. So when he looked at me with those wise hard eyes of his and told me to leave town right this minute , thatâs what I did.
Twenty hours later I wish Iâd at least stopped by a store to pick up some new shirts and maybe some provisions for the trip. Still, just driving through all that empty space has made me feel like Iâm expanding. I want to keep driving. I donât really ever want to arrive.
7
Itâs one a.m. when I walk through the doors of the hotel, only thirty-eight hours later than