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perplexed by the turn this conversation had taken.
    Shaking her head a small smile tilted the corner of her lips. ‘That’s not what I mean, Nathan.’ She let out a long breath and seemed to be steeling herself to drop yet more bad news on me. ‘Look, I know how much you love your apartment, you designed it; you’re allowed to love it.’ Leaning down she placed a brief, chaste peck on my chin, ‘The thing is, I just don’t like it.’
    My eyebrows rose significantly at her words, and even though Stella was talking sense I couldn’t help but feel my hackles rise and body tense. This place had every convenience possible, what the fuck was there not to like?
    As if reading my mind Stella shook her head and smiled wryly, ‘Don’t get me wrong, it’s a beautiful apartment, Nathan. Perfect really.’ Lowering her eyes she seemed to be choosing her words carefully so I laid there and attempted to reign in my impatience. ‘The thing is, if I moved in here it would never feel like “our” apartment to me, it would always be yours.’ Denial was about to spring from my lips, but Stella halted me by placing a finger gently on them. ‘I know it’s stupid, but when I’m here I can’t get the image of your previous women out of my head. They lived here with you, shared this space …’ Her hand wafted around as if to prove her point, ‘… and as stupid as it probably sounds, that’s why I can’t live with you. It’s not about you, it’s about this apartment and its history.’
    Taking a moment to process her words I couldn’t help a frown deepening my brow. It was true other women had shared this space with me, but I never gave them a second thought now – how strange that Stella would dwell on it. ‘But you come here every week and you’ve never seemed bothered before,’ I stated, fairly sure that I was right.
    Shrugging, Stella lowered her eyes, ‘Perhaps not outwardly, but there’s a reason I always try and manoeuvre our time so that we’re mostly in your bedroom.’ Raising her gaze she looked directly into my eyes. ‘You told me you’d never taken another woman in there before me, that’s why I like it so much.’
    Wow. That was news to me, and it hit me like a punch to the stomach. ‘This is a little crazy, sweetheart, we’ve been together a long while now. Those women are in my past; they mean nothing to me.’
    Sighing, Stella nodded as her fingers absently played over my bare chest, ‘I know, and I also know that this is probably irrational of me, that’s why I never told you before, but I can’t help it, they always spring to my mind.’ Stella’s eyes narrowed as a look of distaste settled on her features. ‘For example, can you honestly tell me that I’m the only person you’ve had sex on this sofa with?’ My loud swallow spoke a thousand words. No, she was not the only woman I’d fucked on this sofa. I winced, in fact I think I’d struggle to count the number on women who’d been below me on this leather … not that I’d share that thought with Stella.
    Seeing my wince Stella sighed, ‘You see? I hate that thought,’ she grimaced, pushing herself upright as if the sofa was suddenly repellent to her. Standing, she began pulling on my discarded shirt for cover, leaving my arms feeling achingly empty as I sat up. ‘I’m sure I’m not the only woman who’s pleasured you on the kitchen table either? Or against those windows?’ Her voice was rising now, and although I did agree with her that it was a little irrational, it was clear that the thought upset her. ‘It’s too crowded here for me. I know that sounds stupid, Nathan, but that’s the reason, OK? I could never live here full-time and be happy, and I know your apartment is beloved to you so I guess we’re at an impasse.’ She smiled weakly at me. ‘Plus, you don’t have a conservatory,’ she added in a soft attempt at a joke, ‘I’ve always wanted to live in a house with a conservatory.’
    Even with her