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12.11
    Subject: Re: why isn’t this bollocks sorted out yet?
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    Hi David. Sorry for the delay in replying—several server issues to resolve. Changing the signature protocol for department heads requires agreement from the partners. In the meantime, I can change the typeface. Some suggestions:

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    Personally, I like Lewinsky (second from bottom). It has a certain cool modernity and the italic suggests restless dynamism. Let me know what you want to do.

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    From: David Crutton
    To: Alex Sofroniou
    Sent: 5 January 2009, 12.18
    Subject: Re: why isn’t this bollocks sorted out yet?
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    What is it with this collective decision-making? It worked for about ten minutes in post-revolutionary Russia before common sense prevailed in the shape of Stalin. It doesn’t work at all here. I’ll have to do something about it, won’t I? For now, I’ll go with the bottom one. There’s something pleasingly despotic about it.
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    From: Alex Sofroniou
    To: David Crutton
    Sent: 5 January 2009, 12.23
    Subject: Re: why isn’t this bollocks sorted out yet?
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    It’s called Blackmoor. I’ll action it ASAP.
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    From: Neil Godley
    To: All Staff
    Sent: 5 January 2009, 12.31
    Subject: FYl
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    I will not be at my workstation between 1.00 and 2.00, since I am obliged to leave the building to obtain a haircut. I apologize for any inconvenience caused by my unscheduled absence.
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    Neil Godley (Accounts)
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    From: Janice Crutton
    To: David Crutton
    Sent: 5 January 2009, 12.38
    Subject: Noah
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    Just had a call from him. He’s with the school nurse. He didn’t make much sense but it seems there was some sort of explosion in the science lab. He said he has no eyebrows. Can you go and pick him up? I’d go, but I’m due in court at two.
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    From: David Crutton
    To: Janice Crutton
    Sent: 5 January 2009, 12.44
    Subject: Re: Noah
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    It’s only his eyebrows. Can’t he catch a bus? And at his age I’d have killed to spend time with the school nurse. The boy’s wrong in the head.

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    From: Janice Crutton
    To: David Crutton
    Sent: 5 January 2009, 12.50
    Subject: Re: Noah
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    I was thinking he might need some emotional support. You know how sensitive he is about his appearance. I’ll call him and tell him to get a cab. But please be home early for him. And to talk to Tamara. And to me.
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    By the way, what’s with the new sign-off? Makes you look a bit Cap’n Barbossa.
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    From: David Crutton
    To: Janice Crutton
    Sent: 5 January 2009, 12.57
    Subject: Re: Noah
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    Barbossa?
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    From: Janice Crutton
    To: David Crutton
    Sent: 5 January 2009, 13.01
    Subject: Re: Noah
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    Pirates of the Caribbean.
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    From: David Crutton
    To: Janice Crutton
    Sent: 5 January 2009, 13.04
    Subject: Re: Noah
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    Geoffrey Rush? Thanks a lot.
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    From: Janice Crutton
    To: David Crutton
    Sent: 5 January 2009, 13.07
    Subject: Re: Noah
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    You were Cap’n Jack Sparrow once. Don’t worry. I always preferred my pirates grizzled.
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    From: David Crutton
    To: Janice Crutton
    Sent: 5 January 2009, 13.08
    Subject: Re: Noah
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    You flirting?
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    From: Janice Crutton
    To: David Crutton
    Sent: 5 January 2009, 13.10
    Subject: Re: Noah
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    Get home at a decent hour and find out. Got to go. Court: HMRC vs. Echelon Holdings p/c. God, have you any idea how un-sexy typing that makes me feel?
    Janice xx
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    From: Kazu Makino
    To: Bill Geddes
    Sent: 5 January 2009, 13.35
    Subject: yikes!
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    Click the link quick.
    bbc.co.uk/news
    Stansted disaster averted
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    62 passengers and six crew safely evacuated from budget airline jet after engine fire.
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    The pilot of a BizzyJet Boeing 737 successfully aborted takeoff at Stansted Airport after an engine burst into flames. The Rotterdam-bound jet was evacuated and five passengers were taken to hospital. There are no reports of serious injuries. The Civil Aviation Authority has begun an