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bothered.
Rachel Stevenson – 1/4/00, 12:05pm
to:
Brett Topowlski
cc:
 
re:
IT’S A RECORD BREAKER
    I’m sorry to be a party pooper, but your all-staff note doesn’t represent the most productive use of company e-mail. I have had a number of complaints from those offended by your lavatorial humour. Maybe I’m misunderstanding and you are simply performing a valuable service by highlighting some defective plumbing. If this is the case, my apologies, and perhaps a simple note to Ken Perry would suffice.
Carla Browne – 1/4/00, 12:09pm
to:
Zoë Clarke
cc:
 
re:
fuck, fuck, fuck, fucking shit, fuck!!!
    God, you won’t fucking believe what’s happening!!! Just got an e from stupid bloody Rachel telling me I’m not being offered the job with Crettin any more!!!!! Just because of that stupid thing with the Arabs!!!! It wasn’t my fault – those tequilas were spiked. I honestly thought it was forgotten. Can you believe it?!!!! I feel so humiliated!!!! It’s not that I was going to take the stupid job – who’d want to work for that git anyway?!!!!! It’s the bloody principle!!!! Do you think I can sue for false mis-representation? Can we go to Bar Zero for lunch? I really need your support right now!!! Cxxx
Rachel Stevenson – 1/4/00, 12:11pm
to:
Zoë Clarke
cc:
 
re:
job changes
    Unfortunately, Carla Browne’s move to David Crutton’s office didn’t pan out as we’d hoped. However, David would very much like you toconsider the position yourself. Obviously it would represent a big change for you and I’m sure you’d like to talk about it. Perhaps you could give me a call and we can find a time.
Zoë Clarke – 1/4/00, 12:13pm
to:
Rachel Stevenson
cc:
 
re:
job changes
    On my way!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Zoë Clarke – 1/4/00, 12:14pm
to:
Carla Browne
cc:
 
re:
fuck, fuck, fuck, fucking shit, fuck!!!
    God, you poor fucking cow!!! This place doesn’t deserve you!!!!!! Got to do some mega-urgent copying now!!!!! The stupid hippie is screaming for it!!!! I’d ask Susi to help, if she wasn’t such a bitch!!!!! See you at lunch – you need a friend right now!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Zxxx
[email protected] 1/4/00, 12:30pm (2:30pm local)
to:
[email protected]
cc:
 
re:
Coke
    So, you await for your Coca-Cola documentation? Oh, how I sympathise with your plight! Before Christmas already I am asking for new lightbulbs in the executive toilet, and still I am dangling. Both cubicles one and two are in gloomiest black pitchness and it is only because I did so much night training during my national service that I am able to avoid brown-staining embarrassment!
    Perhaps we should place the issue of staff respondingness at thetop of the agenda at the forthcoming Miller Shanks CEO Conference in Waikiki.
    Aloha! Pertti
Zoë Clarke – 1/4/00, 2:23pm
to:
Carla Browne
cc:
 
re:
this shit hole!!!!
    God, it was good to get out of here at lunch!! Hope you feel better!!!!!! Remember what I said – I think you should definitely, definitely leave!!!!! You’re my best friend in the world and I don’t know how I could work here without you!!!!! But you’ve got to think of yourself, and you’re better than this place!!!!! Zxxx
Zoë Clarke – 1/4/00, 2:27pm
to:
Rachel Stevenson
cc:
 
re:
job changes
    Rachel, thanks so much for the offer. I’m so excited that Mr. Crutton suggested me for the position. Obviously it entails extra responsibility and is a big step up. As I said I would, I’ve given it a lot of thought over lunch. In the end, though, it’s an easy decision to make. I’d be thrilled to accept – Zoë
Carla Browne – 1/4/00, 2:29pm
to:
Zoë Clarke
cc:
 
re:
this shit hole!!!!
    I don’t know what I’d do without you, Zoë!!!!!! You’re the only one in this stupid bloody place that stops me from going mad!!!!!!!!!! I dofeel better, and I’ve decided that I’m
not
going to resign!!!!!!!!! I can’t let those bastards win!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Cxxx
Zoë Clarke –