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him in bat suits, even a Neanderthal like him would no longer deny the self-evident merit of the idea.
    Was I so wrong to think £16,000 a small price to pay in defence of our art?
    Clearly I was naïve to assume I would have your support.
    But I am a professional and not in the business of pointing fingers.
    I will pick myself up, dust myself off and move on from here.
Simon Horne – 1/4/00, 11:23am
to:
David Crutton
cc:
 
re:
Harriet Greenbaum
    Believe me, David, I do not wish to drop anyone in the brown and gooey. You know that is not my
modus operandi.
    But I must make it clear that I had numerous verbal assurances from Harriet that the costs we were accruing on Mako were authorised.
    I am not having a go at her.
    I have the utmost respect for her both as a human being and as an advertising practitioner. However, she has been under a great deal of stress lately.
    There is a feeling about the office that James Gregory has beencarrying her since her divorce. The unauthorised £16,000 may not be the only over-run on her business.
    She needs our support at this difficult time.
    Perhaps an audit of her other accounts would be helpful.
    Si
Brett Topowlski – 1/4/00, 11:33am
to:
Liam O’Keefe
cc:
 
re:
need aspirin
    Think you’ve got it bad? Vin and me have just been put on Kimbelle because you two useless gits can’t crack it. What we know about “the curse” could be written on a Post-it. I don’t know how we’ll fit it in before
we fly off to the sun-kissed island of Mauritius at the weekend for our LOVE Channel shoot, accompanied by top topless totty (over-endowed, over-eager and all over me)
. Don’t like to rub it in, but them’s the breaks. Vin’s getting over you and Lol the only way he knows. He’s got a spotty trainee from IT to help him surf the net for farmyard porn and it seems to be taking his mind off Miss Manchester. It’s quite touching how a pretty Danish dairy maid frolicking with a couple of Dobermans and a pig can restore a man’s spirits. BZ at 1:00.
Rachel Stevenson – 1/4/00, 11:45am
to:
Carla Browne
cc:
 
re:
job changes
    Carla – I have an urgent issue to discuss. I have tried to call you about it, but you have been engaged for over thirty minutes.
    I’m afraid there’s been a change of plan on the David Crutton front. He reviewed your file and felt he’d been wrong to overlook the lap-dancing affair with the marketing delegation from Arabian Airways. He regretfully feels that, given the minor diplomatic incident that ensued, a job with such a strong element of client and public interface would be inappropriate for you at this time.
    We both feel very sorry to let you down like this, but want toreassure you that your future is bright, and, in Dan Westbrooke, you are working for one of the most respected executives in the agency.
    If you’d like to discuss this further, please call me.
David Crutton – 1/4/00, 11:57am
to:
Daniel Westbrooke
cc:
 
re:
Coke
    I believe I asked you to have a draft of the Coke presentation on my desk first thing this morning. Where the fuck is it? When I joined this company I only agreed to keep you on because you let Jim Weissmuller use your house in Tuscany. If you can’t deliver a few simple pie charts on time, why am I bothering?
    By the way, you can keep your secretary. I was reminded that the silly tart’s antics with a tequila bottle last year nearly started Gulf War II.
Brett Topowlski – 1/4/00, 11:59am
to:
All Departments
cc:
 
re:
IT’S A RECORD BREAKER
    If you happen to go into stall 2 in the gents on the creative floor, please
do not
flush. The
Guinness Book of World Records
has been informed.
Daniel Westbrooke – 1/4/00, 12:02pm
to:
Carla Browne
cc:
 
re:
Coke
    Please can you get a bloody move on with the Coke presentation? I would like to remind you that it was only my pleadings that saved your job last year after the Arabian Airways débâcle. If a few simple pie charts are causing so much trouble, I am not sure why I