Dumb Clucks Read Online Free PDF

you up!” she gushed.
    â€œPlease don’t,” I muttered.
    She took a big bite out of my arm.
    Memo to self: Remember to get more Band-Aids.
    Then she jumped up and turned to the crowd of kids. “What’s going on? Why are you all picking on Honey Face?” she snarled.
    No one spoke. They were all too afraid to answer.
    The Ecch gazed at the TV screen. “And why are you watching that stupid duck show?” she demanded.
    â€œIt’s not stupid,” Joe Sweety said softly. “We kinda like Drastic Duck.”
    Â 
    â€œCHANGE THE CHANNEL!”
    Â 
    Jennifer roared. “Are you all crazy? You’ve got to watch the best show!”
    â€œWh-what’s the best show?” Sherman asked.
    Jennifer didn’t reply. Instead she pulled back her school blazer. And we could all see her T-shirt:
    POWER PIGEON !

Chapter 13
H E’S C OO -C OO -C OOLOSSAL !
    â€œPower Pigeon?” Joe Sweety cried. “You can’t be serious, Ecch! You have to be a total geek to watch that fat pigeon. He eats garbage off the sidewalk!”
    â€œOh, yeah?” Jennifer sneered. “That’s how he gets his COO-COO-COOURAGE!”
    â€œWho wants a superhero that coos?” Sweety said.
    â€œOnly coo-coo-cool people!” Jennifer replied. “Let me show you a coo-coo-cool trick I learned on Power Pigeon. Did you ever see the episode called ‘Knots To You!’?”
    She grabbed Sweety around the neck and liftedhim off the floor. Then she began twisting his arms and legs like he was a balloon animal.
    In three seconds, she had him tied into a knot. “This is called a Double Shell Bend knot,” Jennifer said.
    She grabbed Sweety’s arms and tucked them around his legs. “And this is a Halyard knot. It’s used a lot by fishermen and sailors. Now let me show you my favorite.”
    She bent and twisted poor Joe’s body. “This is a perfect Figure Eight knot,” she said. She held him up so everyone could see.
    No lie. She bent Sweety into a perfect figure eight. If you put salt on him, he’d look just like a pretzel!
    She dropped him to the floor. We all watched him roll away, dazed and defeated. I could hear him out in the hall trying to untangle himself.
    â€œJennifer—you can’t DO that!” Sherman Oaks screamed.
    â€œWe have a right to watch Drastic Duck !” Flora Peevish shouted. “It’s in the Constitution!”
    â€œOh, yeah?” the Ecch boomed. She made a movetoward Flora. But Angel Goodeboy jumped between them.
    Angel looks a lot like an angel. He has shiny blond hair and a round face with pink cheeks and sparkling blue eyes. Sometimes I look for a halo floating over his head.
    Angel smiled warmly at Jennifer. “Why can’t we all just get along?” he asked. “Let’s all be kind to each other.”
    â€œI’ll show you my idea of kind,” Jennifer cried.
    She lifted Angel off his feet and began shifting his arms and legs. She finished by tucking his head into his body. Then she held him up for everyone to see.
    â€œLook. A box turtle!” Jennifer said.
    She set him on the floor, and Angel crawled away slowly.
    â€œAnyone else want to say something bad about the Pigeon of Plutonium?” Jennifer demanded.
    â€œA lightbulb only screws in one way,” Wes Updood said.
    â€œOh, yeah ?” Jennifer cried.
    She dove at Wes. She grabbed his arms andstarted to bend him.
    But April-May June and her friend Sharonda Davis leaped onto Jennifer. They tugged her off Wes, pushed her to the floor, and tried to sit on her.
    And that’s when things got out of control.
    Some kids started chanting:
    Â 
    â€œWAR! WAR! WAR!”
    Â 
    Another group began chanting the Drastic Duck Chant:
    Â 
    â€œDrastic is Fantastic!
    Drastic is Fantastic!”
    Â 
    Some of my Rotten House friends came into the TV room and began blucking their heads off.
    Â 
    BLUCK BLUCK