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million times before.
    She yelled at me twice for not paying attention.
    Later she came by my desk. She apologized and told me she was giving me a referral to a grief counselor.
    Some days I go home for lunch, but other days I stay at school so I can work on the computers. On those days I eat lunch at school. Today was my day to work on the computers, but I couldn’t eat the sandwiches I had packed. I didn’t want to take any chances pulling out my sandwiches and having the gun go off.
    My stomach grumbled all afternoon.
    Kids in the front rows turned around and gave me funny looks.
    Finally, Gus handed me some sunflower seeds. It’s really hard to eat sunflower seeds in Mrs. Bilky’s class, but I did that day.
    When I got home, the house smelled like freshly baked apple pie.
    “Do you want a piece of apple pie?” Mrs. Washington asked.
    “Yes, please,” I shouted.
    I went upstairs. I took the gun from my backpack and hid it in the bottom of one of Jimmy’s boxes; then I shoved the box under the bed and placed the other box in front of that. I hoped Mom didn’t decide she had to go through Jimmy’s things again.
    Then I remembered Detective Howard gave me his card. I had it someplace. I found it in my drawer. I could tell Detective Howard about the gun. I’d tell him I found it in the alley.
    I ran downstairs. I was about to pick up the phone when I saw Mina on Mrs. Washington’s lap.
    She was crying.
    “What’s wrong with Mina?” I asked. I thought she was still upset with me.
    “Spider ran away because we’re too sad,” Mina said. “No one pays any attention to him, and he’s lonely and misses Jimmy.”
    “He must have jumped the fence in the backyard,” Mrs. Washington said.
    “I’ll help you find Spider,” I said.
    “What about your pie?” Mrs. Washington asked.
    “I’ll eat it when I get back,” I said.
    My stomach growled in protest.
    I crammed one bite into my mouth. Mina headed for the door.
    Mina and I walked up and down the streets. We asked everyone we saw if they had seen a dog that looked like a spider. People laughed until they looked at Mina. Then they got serious and tried to help.
    “We’re going to have to go back, Mina,” I said. “It’s getting late.”
    “One more block,” Mina said. “Please.”
    “Okay,” I said.
    We turned down a side street and then another.
    Then we were lost.
    Now I know how Mina feels when she wanders off and gets lost and why she’s always crying when I find her.
    Nighttime was no time to be on the street.
    Mina and I walked to the corner. I looked both ways down the street. Traffic crossed at an intersection several blocks away. We walked down there; then I looked both ways again, trying to find a street with more traffic than this one. I knew if I kept following traffic,sooner or later I would find a street I knew.
    I tried to cheer up Mina.
    “Spider is probably home by now,” I said. “I bet he’s barking and wondering where you are. I hope he doesn’t jump the fence again and go looking for you.”
    She smiled then.
    The moon had risen, huge and ivory yellow, by the time we got home.
    The backyard was empty. I could feel how disappointed Mina was. I walked up the back steps feeling defeated.
    Mom was talking quietly to Mrs. Washington.
    “Those boys just came in the backyard and took Spider,” Mrs. Washington said.
    “Don’t tell the kids,” Mom said.
    I knew something bad had happened to Spider then, but I didn’t want Mina to know. She was still in the backyard thinking Spider would come out and play with the Frisbee she held in her hand.
    We ate dinner in silence, me knowing their secret.
    They weren’t the only ones with a secret.
    I kept thinking about the gun and what I wasgoing to say to Detective Howard so he would think I found the gun in the alley.
    That night I couldn’t sleep. I was in bed, staring at the ceiling and watching the way car lights push shadows across the ceiling.
    I guess Mom figured I was asleep,