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towered over me, his groin just about at face level. The leather pants left little to the imagination, hugging his half-hard cock.
    Oh my.
    It would be so easy to lean forward and press my face against the hard ridge of his shaft. I would mouth at him until he pulled me away by my hair, yanked the button from its mooring and shoved his cock in my mouth.
    “What do you fantasize about when you are alone? When there’s nothing but you and your handy vibrator, what do you think about?”
    Yeah, I was blushing hard. Though whether it was from the heated nature of my thoughts or the need to spell out what I did when I got myself off, I couldn’t be sure. I imaged it would be poor form to say you given I’d just met the man. Honest, but unnecessary pressure. Maybe he wouldn’t mind?
    “I’m not sure I can put it into words.” I licked my lips in an attempt to cover up the blatant lie. I didn’t know if I would sound like a freak for saying the truth out loud.
    “Liz, I want you to close your eyes.” I did without hesitation. It was getting easier to do what he said. “Now, tell me what you see.”
    I squeezed my hands a bit tighter in my lap. The images that popped into my head were always consistent, always set to get me turned-on. “I see a man who is larger than me. He tells me what to do, takes away my choices in the bedroom. I don’t want to think or decide or have to ask. I want him to simply know what I want when I want it. Hardly fair, I need to be with a mind reader.”
    “Liz.” There was a warning note in his voice. It was strange to have someone pick up on my deflection techniques so quickly after first meeting them.
    “I want to do what he says. If he wants to fuck my ass or have me give him a blow job, then that’s what I’ll do.” I opened my eyes then and looked at him. Really looked at him. Somehow I knew there was something special going on tonight. I had taken a step into becoming someone else. An evolution of me into someone I didn’t yet know.
    I’m not sure what he saw standing there, what insights he gained by seeing me sitting before him, but something on his face changed. He leaned back and for a moment I understood what it would feel like to be under a magnifying glass.
    I wasn’t about to let that intense look scare me off. I knew I wasn’t able to hold anything back now that I’d finally started talking. “Does that make me some sort of anti-feminist? I mean, what kind of woman wants to give up that kind of control to a man?”
    Master Gareth didn’t speak right away. While I knew what I said was probably the least shocking thing he’d ever heard in his life as a Dom, it was still a big step for me. I hadn’t even said all of that to Connie and she was a sub and definitely someone who would understand. But she was confident in her ability to let go and let Stephen flog her senseless, tie her up and do what he wanted or withhold her orgasm until she was nearly delirious from need. They’d worked out the playbook and knew the calls.
    I was still figuring out what the game was.
    It was like taking a giant leap backward and becoming an awkward teenager once more. Never knowing what to do or say, what made me a freak or what was simply me being different. I wasn’t old, but you’d think at twenty-six I’d have some of this stuff figured out by now.
    “It’s been my experience that it takes a very strong person to admit to needing help.” He moved around to stand behind me. I shivered when I felt him lean forward so his mouth was close to my ear. “How long have you had these longings?”
    Forever. “A while now.”
    “And you wanted tonight to see if this was something you could do?”
    “I need to know that this isn’t some kind of mistake. Before I get into another relationship and fuck that up too, I have to have my head around what it is I need. Before I ask someone for something I can’t really see through. I—” This really shouldn’t have been so difficult. I