Djinn Rummy Read Online Free PDF Page B

you wanted to.’
    â€˜No problem,’ Kiss agreed. ‘I could read your thoughts, for a start.’
    â€˜Could you?’
    The genie nodded. ‘It’s frowned upon, of course,’ he added. ‘Not quite the done thing and so forth, especially within the parameters of the model genie/mortal relationship. But entirely feasible.’
    â€˜Hang on,’ Jane objected. ‘What happened to no moral constraints whatsoever?’

    â€˜It’s not moral constraints, just peer group machismo. And we’re drifting away from the subject rather, aren’t we?’
    â€˜I suppose we are. Go on, then. Guess.’
    â€˜Guess why you wanted to kill yourself?’
    â€˜Mphm.’
    Kiss frowned, and changed himself into a tree. Trees, as is well known, spend their entire lives trying to decide what they’re going to do next, and therefore possess tremendous powers of concentration. It’s only the lack of an effective central nervous system that keeps them from sweeping the board at chess tournaments.
    â€˜Unrequited love,’ he said. ‘Close?’
    Jane scowled. ‘Spot on,’ she replied. ‘Is it that obvious?’
    â€˜No,’ replied the genie, with a hint of smugness. ‘In fact, you’ve concealed it terribly well. I have the advantage, however, of superhuman intelligence. Not,’ he added, ‘that I use it much. Gives me a headache.’
    â€˜Me too.’
    Kiss changed back into his customary shape: a nine-foot-tall clown, complete with red nose and a woolly ginger wig. ‘Tell me about it,’ he said.
    â€˜Nothing to tell, really.’ Jane leaned over and stared at the seething flames below until her eyes hurt. ‘His name was Vince, and he had the desk opposite mine at the Bank. In his spare time he played a lot of volleyball, his favourite food was pizza and he was saving up for one of those overland adventure holidays where you cross some desert or other in an open-topped truck. What I ever saw in him I can’t for the life of me imagine, but there it is.’
    Kiss nodded. ‘It’s the same with us and bottles,’ he said. ‘Only, of course, we eventually get out of the bottles, even if it does mean waiting till they biodegrade. As I understand it, your lot don’t have that guarantee.’

    â€˜I don’t know.’ Jane sniffed. ‘If you ask me, it’s all a case of misunderstood biology. In fact, as an example of a very big hammer to crack a very small nut, it’s hard to beat.’
    Kiss rolled over on to his back and materialised a bottle of cold milk. He took a long pull, wiped the top of the bottle on the palm of his hand and offered it to Jane, who declined it.
    â€˜If you like,’ he said, ‘we can see what we can do about this Vince character. If you really want me to, that is.’
    Jane shook her head. ‘I don’t honestly think it’s something you can interfere with,’ she replied. ‘I thought you were only allowed to do the possible.’
    Kiss shrugged. ‘There would have to be an element of compromise,’ he replied, ‘and certainly you can’t compel one mortal to love another. On the other hand, you can suggest to a mortal that he act affectionately towards another mortal if he doesn’t want his ears ripped off and shoved up his nose. That’d be no bother whatsoever.’
    â€˜No, thank you.’
    â€˜Sure? The more I think about it, the more I warm to the -’
    â€˜Really,’ Jane said. ‘No thanks. ‘
    â€˜Suit yourself.’ The genie yawned. ‘So, what exactly do you want? I don’t want to seem pushy or anything, but it’s time you made your mind up about that. Most people have a shopping-list ready formulated before the cork’s out of the bottleneck.’
    â€˜Well, I don’t,’ Jane said. ‘Apart from the immediate things, I mean, like not having to clean