Dismantled (Girls on Top #2) Read Online Free PDF Page B

it.”
    “Well, I really can’t say that I do get it, but I was not going to let you come here by yourself.” She looks up at me and smiles. I like her smile. It’s always genuine and it really highlights her natural beauty. She continues, “Brianna and Keagan would have come too, but they couldn’t get out of work.”
    After I was released from the hospital, Notso and I took residence at Colton’s and Brianna’s place. They had promised that I would never have to return to my house and luckily I haven’t had to. They are the best friends a person can have. They also had the place professionally cleaned and listed it for sale with a real estate agent. I didn’t expect it to sell for a long time, given what happened there, but that’s the thing about a good location – sometimes people don’t care about the history of the home as long as a new floor and a couple of layers of paint can cover it up. I’m sure whoever bought it has a morbid sense of humor.
    I haven’t been in the mood to go looking at homes for sale. My mother offered to come to town and take me with her or to take care of it by herself, but I haven’t felt up to that, either. To tell you the truth, the little I have felt lately has been drowned in whiskey. Notso has been giving me space. He could go buy his own place, if he wants, but he feels he’s not ready to commit to that or live by himself. I’m sure that Keagan wouldn’t let him be alone much, but I really don’t want to think about that either. So we compromised to rent a house for six months to a year and then we will figure out what to do. Timing has not been on our side, because we can’t find anything nice to rent that can be considered affordable.
    A couple of weeks later, Notso tells me he has rented an apartment. He said he was talking to the Manager at the apartment complex where Ciara and Keagan live and that they were running a special that could not have been passed up. Out of pure coincidence, the apartment is located in the same building as Ciara’s place, but one floor up from her. I have not decided how I feel about that. Sometimes it feels like too much pressure to be “on” and have a somewhat happy face for my friends and family when all I want is to lock myself in a room and never come out.
    We hear the priest starting his sermon. Everyone became very quiet and still. The priest’s words were gentle and reassuring. From my position across the crowd, I could see an older couple which I assume was Marcy’s parents. The lady was inconsolable. Perhaps I should not be here. Looking at the sad crowd makes me feel guiltier. Everyone is constantly telling me that it is not my fault. When Detective Hall came to visit to tell me I have been cleared from the investigation, he also mentioned they had discovered that Marcy had a past that consisted of many visits to a mental care facility and she was unstable. She also had a history of inconsistency on taking her medication, which had caused her more problems than given her benefits.
    That was obvious to me during the short time we were in front of one another, but I can’t help to think “what if?” What if I had just gotten over the fear of being hurt by a girl? What if I would have not dated and used girls only to satisfy my male ego? What if I would have been a couple of seconds faster in my reaction when I saw her pointing the gun to her head? Could Marcy still be here trying to muddle through life in her own way, just like the rest of us? One thing is for sure, if I had made better choices I wouldn’t have to see her die again and again every time I close my eyes.
    When the service was over, I noticed Marcy’s parents looking at me. I wouldn’t know what to say since her daughter died because of me. I feel Ciara’s hand taking mine, and she gently pulls me away, as if she knows the thoughts that are going through my mind.
    Once we are in her car, she looks at me and softly asks if I’m okay. I nod, but inside