Diary of a Nerd King #2: The Complete 2nd Season - Episodes 1 to 8 Read Online Free PDF Page A

see why I figured it was best to keep this to myself and not tell Jordan about it. 
     
    She’d probably get all jealous and break up with me again if she found out.  Girls can be funny that way.
     
    I know what you’re thinking.  It would never work out between Oprah and me, and you’re right. 
     
    I know that, but tell my heart that!  It’s not like I want to be in love with her you know.  It just happened.
     

     
    I mean, I can understand why and everything.  She’s beautiful. Those big brown eyes and that big smile.  I’m sure I’m not the first guy to fall for her.
     
    But she’s also like, at least fifty or something!  That’s WAY too old for me.
     
    I know that, and I know we can never be together, but it’s like those women on my Mom’s soap operas always say… “sometimes the heart wants what the heart wants.”
     

     
    Anyway, the one thing I do know is that this isn’t something I can let Jordan find out about. 
     
    Nobody can find out about this.  Imagine what Tabi would do if she found out!  I’d be waking up to find drawings of mine and Oprah’s initials in a great big heart with an arrow through it stuck to my door. 
     
    Boogie would never let me hear the end of it either!  I can just imagine all the bad jokes he’d come up with about me having to go down to the retirement home to see my girlfriend and stuff like that.
     

     
    When I saw Jordan in English class, I managed to act all cool like usual, which was kinda hard because for some reason I kept seeing Oprah’s face whenever I looked at her. 
     
    Luckily, Jordan didn’t seem to realize anything weird was going on, and we got through English class OK.
     
    Somehow I managed to make it through walking home together too, although it was REALLY weird when we kissed.  I opened my eyes for a second in the middle of it, and I could swear it was Oprah I was kissing! 
     

     
    I closed my eyes again really quick and finished our kiss without Jordan finding out what had just happened.  That’s all I need… her finding out I’m kissing Oprah!

“Farts, Farts, and More Farts!”
    Season 2 – Episode 204
     
    Written and Illustrated by
    Matt Ballard
     
    © Copyright Matt Ballard 2012
    All rights reserved.
     
    http://www.diaryofanerdking.com
     
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Tuesday
     
    I woke up this morning, and I immediately realized there was no way I could go to school today.
     
    I felt the little invader almost as soon as my eyes popped open.  I lay there for a moment thinking “Oh No!” and then “Go Away, Go Away.” 
     

     
    Then I thought maybe I was mistaken, that it was just my mind playing tricks on me.  But then I reached up and touched it with my finger.  That’s when I really started to panic.
     
    I ran to the bathroom and locked the door before turning to look in the mirror.  There was no mistake.  Right there, in the middle of my forehead, was a MONSTER zit staring right back at me.
     

     
    The panic started to get worse.  These things can ruin your life!  If people see you with one of these, you can get stuck on the zit face list forever and ever! 
     
    Once you’re on the zit face list, nobody talks to you anymore except a few of the other kids on the zit face list.  I feel sorry for them, but it’s like a total rule.  Somebody even told me that if you talk to someone on the zit face list, you’ll catch a zit from them and end up on the list yourself!
     

     
    I started racking my brain to try and remember if I’d accidentally talked to somebody on