Dial M for Mongoose Read Online Free PDF Page A

Natalie.
    "Nah," I said, lining up a shot. "They're not bright enough to snatch the cash box without breaking down a door or two. And stealing veggies?"
    I booted the ball and it went wide.
    Natalie smirked. "I get your point. Erik Nidd and broccoli don't exactly go together like worms and caramel." She flapped after the ball.
    I grimaced. "I'm not sure worms and caramel go together. But you're right there, partner. The stinkbombing has their fingerprints all over it, but we've got no solid proof."
    "So who's behind the rest of it?"
    She hauled off and punted. The ball bounced off my chest with a
whump.
    I staggered back. "I dunno. Jerry Dooty?"
    "Too depressed to steal much of anything," said Natalie. "How about Eggplant Nose?"
    Showing off my fancy footwork, I retrieved the ball. "He's mean enough. But what's his motive?"
    "I don't know. But something about him isn't quite right."
    "What?" I swung my leg. The ball sailed into a krangleberry bush.
    "I just said I don't know." Natalie picked her way through the shrubbery.
    A nearby squirrel called to us. "Hey! If you're not going to play soccer with that thing, why don't you give someone else a try?"
    "Because," I said, "this is how we get our kicks."

    Lunch ended and schoolwork resumed. Through the next couple of lessons, I puzzled and puzzled some more (and occasionally even thought about my lessons).Although we had our suspicions, Natalie and I lacked enough evidence to pin the crimes on anybody.
    That meant we needed more info.
    But what? And from where? I needed a clue, a lead, an inside tip.
    What I got was more grief from Mr. Ratnose.
    "Chet Gecko," he said, "let's hear your book report."
    "Teacher, you really don't want to hear my book report."
    He folded his hands on his desk. "I most certainly do."
    "You won't like it," I said.
    Mr. Ratnose sighed. "Which book is it?"
    I stood and put my hands behind my back."
The Wonderful Wizard of Odd,
by L. Frank Barmy." I paused.
    "Yes?" said Mr. Ratnose. "Tell us all about it."
    "Well ... there's this wizard, see? And he's, uh ... kinda odd."
    My teacher stared at me for a long moment. "You haven't actually read it, have you?"
    "Well, I..."
    He held up a hand. "Never mind."
    I sat down."Told you you wouldn't want to hear it."

    At long last, recess arrived. I rushed out the door with my classmates to savor the sweet, sweet air of freedom.
    How was I to know it would soon be full of dust?
    Natalie and I began by investigating the snack machine. I cleverly detected a bag of Skeeter Pieces and we polished it off in short order.
    All sugared up and ready to rumble, we pointed our tootsies toward our client's office. Maybe she had some more leads for us. (Or at least some more quarters. I'd already burned through her retainer.)
    As we headed down the hall, Jerry Dooty was walking up it. Oddly, his paws were cupped together.
    "What's up, Mr. Dooty?" I said.
    The gray gopher turned his bleak gaze on us. "You're asking the wrong guy. I haven't been 'up' since Moses was in knee shorts."
    "Uh, right," said Natalie. "So, what have you got there?"
    "Evidence," he said. "Remember I told you Maureen was getting sloppy?"
    I nodded. "Yeah?"
    He extended his cupped paws. "I found these on the floor in her office."
    We leaned closer. Jerry Dooty held a bunch of little-bitty pieces of wood. Headless matchsticks.

    It wasn't like Ms. DeBree to leave anything on the floor of her office—not even footprints.
    "Where are you taking those?" I asked.
    "I thought they seemed a little ... I don't know, suspicious?" he whined."Figured I'd take them to Mr. Zero, see what he thought."
    Natalie frowned. "You think he'll think she's suspicious?"
    "I think he'll think she's not thinking," said Mr. Dooty. "Maybe he'll think she made the stink."
    "The stink?" I snapped. "You think?"
    "I think." Jerry Dooty gave an elaborate shrug. "But who cares what I think? I'm just the assistant janitor."
    Could he be right? Could my mongoose pal have sunk so low? I