Dial M for Mongoose Read Online Free PDF

shook my head. Never in a million lunchtimes.
    Mr. Dooty shuffled past us, droning, "But I'll tell you one thing—"
    Before he could finish his one thing, three things happened.
    First, Natalie sneezed. "Ha-
CHOO!
"
    Second, an eerie creaking, like the front doors to a thousand haunted houses, filled the air.
    And third, with a loud
FOOMPF!
the one-story building next to us collapsed.

8. Cold Hard Crash
    Natalie and I staggered, caught in a sudden whoosh of air like the breath of a giant. Blown sideways, we cried out. "Yaahhh!"
    Our yells turned to coughs.
    A huge cloud of dust billowed out, as if a million chalkboard erasers were being clapped by a half million teachers' pets. Bits of wall and roof rained down.
    Natalie and I collapsed onto the grass, hacking like a couple of cats with major-league hairballs. Slowly, slowly, the dust settled.
    I rose on my elbows and squinted through the fog.
    Beside me, Natalie had gone all white, like a snow sculpture of a mockingbird. She lifted her head.
    "That's one heckuva sneeze, partner," I said.
    She spat dust. "Who
nose
what really caused it?" Natalie blinked. "Hey, where's Mr. Dooty?"
    I scanned the scene but nobody showed through the cloud.
    "Mr. Dooty!" I called.
    "Are you all right?" shouted Natalie.
    For a long moment, nothing stirred.
    Then a shape slouched through the fog—an all-white gopher. "This is going to be
so
much work," groaned Jerry Dooty.

    "Was anyone inside when it went down?" asked Natalie, getting up and shaking herself off.
    The gopher removed his cap and whapped it against his leg, raising puffs of dust. "Why does the worst stuff always happen to me? I have awful luck."
    "He's still in shock," I told Natalie. "Let's go check it out."
    We edged closer to the pile of rubble, poking here and there. I thought I saw a lean animal, like a weasel or ferret, bound through the far side of the dust cloud. But when I blinked, it was gone.
    "Hello?" said Natalie.
    "Knock, knock," I said, rapping on a piece of lumber.
    Her eyes twinkled. "Who's there?"
    I gave her a look. "Me, birdie."
    "Me, birdie who?"
    "Natalie, not everything is a knock-knock joke."
    Says you.
    At that moment a crowd of kids came running from the playground. They gaped and chattered and pointed.
    We rummaged some more. Luckily, the ruined building was deserted.
    Principal Zero and Maureen DeBree arrived at the same time. Both of them converged on us, talking over each other.
    "What happened here?" said the principal. "Gecko, were you involved?"
    "Chet, Natalie, you okay?" said the janitor. "Who did this?"
    "Was anybody hurt?" said Mr. Zero.
    Brushing dust off my sleeves, I answered, "The building fell down, no, yes, I dunno, and no."
    "Don't worry, chief," said Ms. DeBree. "I'll get to the bottom of this."
    The big cat's fur stood up like nerds volunteering for computer duty. "You'd better. One more slipup around here, and I'm hiring a different head janitor. School safety comes first."
    "That's not fair!" I said. "How could she be responsible for this?"
    Mr. Zero planted one thick paw on his hip. "Fair? Fair is pony rides and first kisses and cotton candy."
    "But—" Ms. DeBree began.
    "
I'm
responsible for running a school here," said the principal. "You're responsible for buildings and grounds. And you two..."
    "Yes?" Natalie asked.
    "Should be getting an education and staying out of my way," said Mr. Zero. He stomped past us, tail twitching.
    "Oh, well," I said to myself. "One out of two ain't bad."
    Natalie grinned."
One?
Who says
you're
getting an education?"

    Ms. DeBree and Mr. Dooty roped off the wreckage with CAUTION tape, called in a couple of badger contractors, and went to work. I love work. I could sit and watch other people do it all day. But just when they broke out the big tools, the class bell rang.
    Back we trudged to face the humdrum drudgery of the only kind of work I don't care for: schoolwork.
    After class ended, Natalie and I dropped by the rubble to get the scoop