Devil's Mountain Read Online Free PDF Page A

risks. Now you have to pay the price.”
    I sat up. “How is it Bobby’s fault my ovaries are the size of raisins?”
    “Oh, nonsense. My mother had ten children. I could’ve had ten if your father was up for it. You’re not the problem, love.”
    “The New York Infertility Institute would disagree with you there.”
    “Doctors don’t know everything. Now get up. I cooked bacon and eggs in that showplace you call a kitchen. It’s a thing of beauty. Aside from warming up take-out, do you people ever cook in there?”
    “Hand me my robe,” I said in defeat.
    I hadn’t eaten much the last few days. I hadn’t drunk much either. I’d slept as much as I could and intermittently popped the mystery pills one of my fellow Wanna-Be Manhattan Moms had dropped off after she heard my news. Unable to face Bobby or the seeming emptiness of my life, sleep had become my best friend.
    I shuffled into the kitchen, wearing Bobby’s too big slippers. My mother had invaded my sterile kitchen and filled it with the thick smell of bacon. Despite myself, my mouth watered and I soon found myself polishing off a second helping of eggs.
    “Bobby wants to take you to Ireland,” my mother said in a tight voice.
    I poured myself another cup of the strong Irish tea she’d brought with her from Westchester. “I don’t want to go anywhere. I don’t want to do anything.”
    “He wants to take you to Kilvarren, to the Mountain. Thinks the fresh air will do you good.”
    “Absent an ovary transplant, nothing will do me any good.”
    “You’re disappointed.” She took my hand. “You must feel desperate. Caro, I know what it’s like to be desperate.”
    I snatched my hand away. “What would you know? You had five children in eight years.”
    My mother lit a cigarette and took a deep drag. After a few moments, she said, “I may not have shared your troubles, but I had more than a few of my own. I’ve never told you this, but I was desperate once. To marry my boyfriend, Jimmy O’Roarke. But he had left for New York and I was stuck at home. No money, my Da refused to give me the fare. He didn’t believe any of us should leave the shadow of the Mountain and go any farther than Kilvarren village. I know what it’s like to see everything you love and ever dreamt of slip away from you.”
    My mother seldom mentioned her life in Ireland or the years before she met my father. I put down my tea. “What happened?”
    “I made a deal with the devil, that’s what happened.” She stubbed out her cigarette. “I asked Roisin Devlin for help. Dot begged me not to but I didn’t know what else to do. I wrote a letter, asking Slanaitheoir for a way to New York, sealed it with my blood and wrapped it in a five pound note. I handed it to Mary Devlin after Mass to give to her mother. A month later Jimmy sent me over the money for my fare and asked me to marry him.” My mother’s eyes began to water.
    “Go on.”
    She wiped her eyes. “Six days before the wedding, a crosstown bus ran over my Jimmy.”
    “My God, Ma. That’s terrible.”
    “It was terrible. I wanted to die, Caroline. Just to die. Do you know what Roisin said when she met Dot down the town? She said, ‘when He gives, He takes.’ Not a bother on her. No remorse. Can you imagine?”
    “Who, Ma? Who takes? What is a Slanaitheoir ?”
    “It doesn’t matter. What matters is, you don’t ask Mary Devlin for help. Don’t stay in her house, stay with Dot in Kilvarren town. Don’t wear any charm she gives you or accept anything to drink other than plain tea. Don’t let your desperation drive you to make the same mistake I made.”
    I took her hand. “I’m sorry you lost your fiance and that you still feel guilty, but what you’re saying doesn’t make any sense. Your fiance had an accident. I don’t see what some old woman on a mountain had to do with it.”
    “Remember, whatever He gives, He takes from you tenfold. Not having children is a hardship. I’m sure it hurts