Deep Surrendering: Episode Seven Read Online Free PDF Page B

then in the afternoon, but if you need anything, I want you to call me. I don’t care if I have to fake a heart attack to get out of class. You’re not alone, Fin.” He had his back to me, but I put my arms around him, hoping to hug him hard enough to make him believe that I loved him.
    “I’ve always been alone. I always thought I’d be alone.”
    “I know. But you’re not anymore.”
    He touched my hands, linked together across his chest. “I don’t think I’ll ever get used to it.” I let go and he started to wash out his dishes.
    “I’ll do that,” I said, trying to push him aside.
    “No, I’ve got it. You’ve done . . . everything for me. I’ve taken you for granted, but I’m not going to do it anymore.” Turning, he took my face in his hands. “You are an extraordinary creature, Marisol. Sometimes I don’t believe you’re real.”
    “I am. And I’m yours. If you want me.”
    “I always want you.” He leaned down and pressed his lips to mine, but backed away. “I need to go.”
    I nodded, and he kissed my forehead before heading out the door.
    The silence that filled the room when he left made me want to cry. So I did.

I half expected to hear from Fin that night. I barely slept, waiting for him to knock at my door or call me. He needed some space, but it was hard to give it to him. I slept with my phone right next to me, just in case.
    When it was finally time to get up and get ready, I had to down two cups of coffee to even get myself dressed. I was going to need a lot more to get through the day and be awake for Fin tonight.
    A thought hit me so hard I nearly fell over.
    What if he left without telling me? Just went back? What if I never saw him again? I shouldn’t have let him leave last night.
    I looked at the clock and saw that I had enough time to head to his place and see if he was there before I went to class.
    I rushed out the door as fast as I could and hailed a cab. Fortunately, he was a fast driver, and I was at Fin’s in half the time it normally took me.
    Waving to the front desk, I headed for the elevator, cursing the fact that he lived in the penthouse and not on the first floor.
    “Come on, come on.” Why must the elevator be so slow? Finally the doors opened and I hopped in, slamming the button for Fin’s floor. A man got in with me and hit the button for the floor below Fin’s. Of course. I resisted the urge to punch him in the face.
    I tapped my foot impatiently, trying to ignore the man as he whistled. Seriously. Shut up.
    Finally the stupid elevator dropped him off and I followed him, heading for the stairs to get to Fin’s floor quicker.
    I knocked at his door, praying softly under my breath that he’d answer. Finally, the door opened and there he was, rubbing sleep out of his eyes, his hair stuck up in the back.
    “You’re here,” I said, statting the obvious. It was déjà vu from yesterday when he showed up unexpectedly. Had it only been that long?
    “I’m here,” he said. “Are you okay?”
    “I’m sorry,” I said, realizing how silly I was being. In hindsight, I could have just called. “Oh my God, I’m so sorry. I had this fear that you left and went back to Germany after we talked last night, so I had to come and see if you were still here. But you are. And now I have to get to class.” I felt like an absolute idiot. I was going to blame it on a lack of sleep. Yes, that’s what I was going to do.
    But Fin smiled and held the door open for me. “Do you have a few minutes?”
    I nodded and walked in. He handed me a cup of coffee, and I knew without even having to sip it that it had French vanilla creamer in it.
    “Thank you,” I said, taking a drink. I was going to be wired as hell later. Oh well. Better that than half asleep.
    “You thought I’d leave again?” he said, running his hands through his hair. I was glad to see he’d gotten some sleep. At least one of us had.
    “Well, you do have a track record. And most of the time I