Deep Blue Secret Read Online Free PDF Page A

was delicate and pristine. It possessed the potential to captivate, to serve a purpose. Yet there it lay, helpless on a disheveled plank of timber; somber, drifting, and alone. Nature meant it to live with color, swaying in the breeze and surrounded by life. But it did not uplift. It did not bring cheer as it should, drained of all light it once held.  Where was the inspired affection? The friendship? The love? There was none. Darkness condemned the innocent to despair.
    The world went blank. I lost track of place and time, entranced by the ache inside me. I no longer stared at the rose, but at a blur of shadow and light with no meaning. I longed for something I couldn’t define. A hunger grew inside me no morsel of food could relieve.
    Something called to me through the emptiness, beckoning me to come—a silent voice only I could hear—but I was lost. I searched for the voice, I yearned to find it, frantic almost, but I found nothing.
    My name echoed over and over.
    “Sadie? Earth to Sa-die…” My mind crawled back to awareness. Mr. Brown waved his hand in front of my glazed eyes with a concerned expression. The other students had already dispersed from the room.
    “Are you okay?” he asked.
    My movements were slow, like wading through a pool of thick mud. I shook off the heaviness and focused my eyes, blinking repeatedly.
    “I…uh…I’m fine.” I wasn’t quite ready to stand.
    “I’m not feeling well,” I added so he wouldn’t think I was crazy.
    “Would you like me to help you to the nurse?” he offered.
    My legs trembled as I stood, using the chair to steady myself. “No, that’s all right, I’ll be fine.”
    “I’m not sure you heard the homework assignment. You looked a little dazed.”
    “Homework?” I mumbled. “Sorry, I guess I missed that.”
    “No worries. I just suggested when you’re out taking pictures this week, to remember how Rose and Driftwood made you feel and to find something that captures a similar feeling for you.”
    “Okay,” I said, secretly hoping nothing out there would make me feel the way that photograph did. “Thanks, Mr. Brown. I’ll see you tomorrow.” I slid out the classroom door.
    My feet dragged down the pathway, lost in my thoughts. If I could describe myself in terms of music, I would be Mellon Collie & the Infinite Sadness from my mom’s old Smashing Pumpkins album.
    Outside, the blue sky and bright sun were not enough to lift my spirits. I couldn’t snap out of the slump. At least I didn’t have to worry about any more classes today. My brain felt useless. I wobbled through the maze of students to my car with my head hung low. I really hoped I wouldn’t run into any of my friends. I just wanted to be alone.
    The steering wheel was hot on my fingers, the air stale from being closed off all day. It was suffocating. I couldn’t breathe. I rolled down the windows and let my head fall back to the seat, taking in a few deep breaths.
    My brain felt like it was churning in slow motion. Everything felt muddled. I barely noticed the blur of buildings and trees driving home. It was a good thing I didn’t live far. I went through an intersection and realized, after the fact, that I wasn’t sure what color the light had been—green I hoped.
    I parked in our driveway with a small shred of relief. The black cloud of depression still hovered over my head as I walked up the drive, but at least I was home.
    After fumbling through my keys at the door, I lost my hold and they dropped carelessly to the ground. Crouching down with a slow sigh, I picked them up to try again, my upper body like a lead weight as I pulled my torso upright.
    I staggered through the door and took in the surroundings of our living room; the eggshell paint on the walls, the old oak TV hutch across from the worn leather couch, the framed picture of my grandparents displayed in the corner bookshelf, a pair of my mom’s shoes on the ground near the doorway.
    Even though the weight had not