Dear Emily (Forever Family) Read Online Free PDF

as the nurse is moving the wand around my belly while snapping photos of the baby. My baby.
    Carly’s baby.
    The nurse speaks again. “We already know it’s a girl. We found that out at her twenty-week ultrasound. Now that we are getting closer to her due date, we like to keep tabs on the little one and make sure she is growing appropriately.”
    She smiles at Carly, then at me. OK. I can do this. I think.
    She takes some more measurements, wipes my baby bump clean, and takes her gloves off.
    “OK, we are done here. Tabitha, you need to be sure to get your adoption plan in place with Dr. Fisher’s assistant as well as the hospital. We want to be sure everyone’s wishes are followed.” She smiles at both of us and leaves the room.
    Carly and I are alone again, and my awkwardness is back. She seems almost relaxed. My stomach is in knots, and I’m petrified that she is silently judging me.
    Her demeanor is still. She stands up and offers her hand to help me off of the table. Her hand is warm, and her smile is back.
    “Well, that was exciting!” she says.
    “Yes, it is.” I answer. Although it’s also bittersweet for me.
    As we walk out into the waiting room, I take the printed ultrasound pictures and hand them to her. She seems shocked as she reaches out to take them from me.
    “She’s your daughter, Carly. You should have these.”
    She’s speechless.
    She reaches into her purse and hands me a twenty-dollar bill. She seems embarrassed and nervous about it.
    “I want to pay for your transportation to get here and maybe a cup of coffee or something. Here, take this.” She quickly shoves the bill into my palm and closes my hand around it. “That’s weird, right?” she asks.
    Knowing that I need the money to walk out the door, I just stare at her and give her a small smile as I slowly shake my head. “No. I appreciate it.”
    We walk toward the door together and before we walk through, she stops, grabs me, and pulls me into a tight embrace. Her tears are flowing now, and she is shaking as she is holding me. She keeps whispering, “Thank You.” She says it at least ten times.
    I have no words. I can’t say anything.
    I push away from her and wipe my own silent tears from my cheeks, nod and walk out the door.
    She is perfect. She is not me. Therefore, she is perfect.
    I hail the first cab I see and quickly get in. I don’t look back because I know it will break me.
    I’m jealous. I’m jealous of her and the life that she has.
    I’m also now jealous of my baby. And the perfect life she is going to have.

New Brunswick, New Jersey
    Past
    Age 17
    It’s Thursday morning. The Thursday-after-Wine-Wednesday. I’m dragging my ass, immensely hung-over. Manny, Becca, and Callie all left my room at various times last night, long after the jug of pink wine was polished off. Our red Solo cups are still piled in my sink. Are we supposed to re-use them? Whatever.
    Callie was the last one to leave. Before she left, she whispered in my ear, “I know what you are going through, honey.” She kissed my forehead as I drifted off to sleep.
    She knows what I’m going through? This will most certainly be a topic for an upcoming Wine Wednesday.
    We agreed to meet at the clinic on campus by ten-thirty in the morning, and I’ve already blown off my Biology lab this morning at eight-thirty. This is going to continue to be a problem if Wine Wednesdays do indeed stay.
    I run my fingers through my long curly hair then wrap it up into a messy bun. I pull on my stretch pants, long sleeved Nirvana concert t-shirt and step into my flip-flops. I grab a scarf, my jacket and head out the door.
    The walk across campus is chilly, and I huddle in my jacket to keep warm. I’m looking down, trying not to make eye contact with anyone and end up walking right into a wall.
    A person.
    A wall of a person.
    Oh. My. God.
    Todd.
    I nearly vomit in my mouth. His eyes are like razors as he looks down at me and grins. “Hey. You?”
    After what he