Dear Diary (The Exchange #1) Read Online Free PDF Page A

kid. I'm surprised they let me go in the first place.
    My first Saturday back was the first that I didn't want to go out for ages. My friends were worried about me, but dragged me out anyway in the hope that I would enjoy myself. I hated every minute of it.
    Everything that we did or said, reminded me of back in the States. The food was different, the atmosphere, even everyone’s accents were hard to get used to. I didn’t want to be there.
    I want to be back with Aiden and Beth. I can put up with Tyler, just about, if it means going there again.
    The first chance I got, I told them I wasn't feeling well and went home. I hate feeling as if I no longer belong at home; feel out of the loop with my friends. This was unexpected, a side effect of the amazing time I’d had in America.
    I can tell Mum and Dad are worried about me. I didn't tell them anything about my time in the States, other than to say I'd enjoyed it and had made friends. I just want to go back, I really do. I feel like I left a bit of me behind.
    Hx
    ~DD~
    June 2012
    Dear Diary,
    My mum keeps telling me that I will readjust to being back home, but almost two weeks later, I still feel the same. There's a sickly feeling in the pit of my stomach that just won't go away. I usually wait until the middle of the night, and then speak with Beth on Skype. I always end up crying and I hate myself for it. She's the only one who knows everything that happened between me and both King boys. She never judges me, though; just supports and keeps me up to date with how they are, especially Aiden.
    The two of them have become good friends, best friends even, which I am so happy about. He needs someone to talk to, to help him have a life away from studying. I can only manage to speak to him once or twice a week and then we speak for hours, but I miss just being near him.
    My friends here have started giving up on me. They never ask me to go out anymore. I'm so over the whole 'go out to get trashed and pick up a random guy' weekends that they seem to live for. I'm sure they think I'm crazy, but they don't know how alive I felt in the states. Yeah, cliche, but it's true.
    And no matter what I do, I can't shift the nauseousness that I've been feeling the last couple of days.
    Hx
     

Chapter Ten
    June 2012
    Dear Diary,
    The sick feeling still hasn't gone away. It's been about a week now. I just constantly feel like I'm going to throw up and I've tried everything I can think of to stop it—dry biscuits, no dairy, everything, but it doesn't go away. I'm thinking about trying to get in to see the doctor. Maybe I'm just homesick, which sounds ridiculous because officially, I AM home.
    I know I’ve said it before, but I can't help but feel that I left a part of me behind in the U.S. when I left. In only six weeks I felt so relaxed and accepted without question. Maybe it's because I was like a novelty or something, but apart from the whole Tyler thing, I felt like I belonged there. Nothing here feels right anymore.
    I got chatted up at the bus stop the other day, but rather than be flattered (or possibly grossed out), all I could do was compare him to Aiden—and then I cried. I think I really scared the bloke. I really want to see Aiden again, and not only on a computer screen. I want him to wrap his strong arms around me and tell me I am being crazy.
    I'm going to have a sleep. I feel like crap and I’m starting to get weepy again.
    Hx
    ~DD~
    June 2012
    Dear Diary,
    Well, Mum made me go to the doctor today. I've been feeling rotten for nearly two weeks now. They did a load of blood tests. Anyone would think I had some kind of tropical disease by the amount of blood they took out of my arm. I should have the results in a couple of days. Mum said it's probably something like anaemia. She had it when she was about my age and said she constantly felt like crap until they put her on iron supplements for a couple of months.
    Bethany said I look awful (yeah, thanks) when I spoke to her last