voice rang out in her mind. “You’re too skinny! You don’t eat enough!”
She knew that was the truth. What her mother didn’t realize was why she didn’t eat. Five years ago she had weighed one twenty, and now, when she had the courage to stand on the scale, she was always at least fifteen pounds less. Sometimes she was even less, depending on how stressful things were with Tony. She just had no appetite when things weren’t going well.
Which was often.
She’d tried to text Tony but he hadn’t answered.
The sun gradually lowered and set. Cindy cleaned up the dinner dishes and took a book out to one of the lawn chairs.
Avril didn’t ask about the fireworks. When the sky darkened, she just went inside with Laurie and they found a movie to watch.
Cindy imagined the bright red, green, and yellow streamers filling the air. She remembered the thundering booms from the fireworks on Elliott Bay and the laughter and cries of joy from her family all those years ago.
She closed her eyes and put her book down, wishing Independence Day was as important to her husband as it was to her.
The sun set with Cindy totally lost in her own thoughts and tears.
She fell asleep and didn’t wake up until Tony shook her.
* * *
There wasn’t a lot of light in the McKays’s backyard. Cindy was slumped over in her chair and from Tony’s view, she looked like a shrub that had somehow sprouted in the middle of the yard.
He mumbled, “Dummy.”
If he’d known where Avril was and knew she couldn’t hear, he would have said something more along the lines of “dumb bitch,” but he was always a bit cautious where his daughter was concerned.
He stared at Cindy, trying to decide if he should wake her or just leave her there. It’d been a long day and he really just wanted to get to bed.
In the end he walked over to Cindy and shook her shoulder.
“Hey, wake up.”
Cindy jerked awake and looked up at him as if he were a complete stranger. In some ways, that wasn’t so far from the truth, she knew.
“Sorry. I didn’t mean to—”
“Where’s Avril?”
Cindy blinked and it looked like she was trying to remember, but she just shook her head. “In the house, I hope.”
“You hope ?”
She climbed out of the chair on the side opposite from him. Even when she was jerked awake like that, she knew better than to get too close to him.
She rushed into the house, fumbling with the screen door as she entered. Tony followed and closed the door behind him.
Avril’s bedroom was on the second floor, not far from the master bedroom.
Please be there , Cindy thought.
She was.
The ten-year-old was sprawled across her bed diagonally, arms spread out like she was flying in her sleep. Her blonde hair spilled down her back.
Cindy breathed a sigh of relief. There was no sign of Laurie. She must have gone home earlier.
“Good-night, precious,” she whispered.
She pulled Avril’s door shut. Tony was already in the master bedroom, and although she wasn’t feeling very tired anymore, she followed. She went to the private bathroom in the corner and closed the door before sitting on the toilet. She didn’t have to pee, but it gave her an extra minute before having to get into bed with him.
When she ran out of time, she flushed and walked back to the main room. He was lying on his side, looking away. Good .
But then she couldn’t help herself. He’d let her down, but more importantly, he’d let Avril down.
“Why weren’t you here to set off the fireworks?”
He didn’t answer, and Cindy wondered if he was asleep.
“You knew it was July fourth, knew we always have a barbeque and fireworks. Avril was expecting it.”
He threw back the covers and rolled onto his back.
“Jesus, if you wanted fucking fireworks, don’t you think you should have fucking told me? You never mentioned anything. Am I supposed to be a goddamned mind-reader now?”
“We always do that.”
“Fuck always. I was working today. I never